tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81337838862509131322024-03-06T11:33:06.413+07:00Karin's WorldKarin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-27598985501119640212011-09-08T08:12:00.006+07:002011-09-08T09:00:56.435+07:00YES! – in so many ways :D<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, it has yet again been way too long since I’ve posted here.</span></span></span></div></div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I’m rubbish when it comes to keeping my friends up-to-date with my life.</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I had a truly amazing summer</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I am guilty of seriously bad judgment when it comes to a certain aspect of my personal life</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I have been denied entrance to a night club</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I’ve been kicked out of a summer house</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I am madly in love</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto;text-indent:-18.0pt;line-height:normal;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">-</span></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> - -</span></span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">And yes, it’s a different one</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom: .0001pt;mso-add-space:auto;text-indent:-18.0pt;line-height:normal;mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">-</span></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> - -</span></span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">And yes, this one deserves me</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto;text-indent:-18.0pt;line-height:normal;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">-</span></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> - -</span></span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">And yes, I am happier than I’ve been for years</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I am back in Thailand, already working my butt off to provide as many people as possible with as good a holiday as possible</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Now that we’re clear on that, I’ll elaborate….;)</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">First of all, let’s get the tedious subject out of the way. I can’t count the number of people who have called me an idiot, fool, gullible, naïve and similar descriptive words after hearing the updates from my personal life earlier this year. You were right and I was wrong. Leopards may camouflage their spots, but eventually the spots shine through, and anyone hoping to be able to change or cure that, is </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">indeed a fool. Love doesn’t cure anything; it just makes us blind ;) I must admit that I am very impressed by all my friends: you stood by me through abuse and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">depression and you have tried your best to “save me”. Yet, nobody has said “I told you so” (yet) ;) ……..Since you’ve gone through the really tough times with me, now it’s time you get some good news ;)</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">The summer in Denmark offered quite a variety of experiences; there’s being spare mum for my 2-year-old niece, there’s welcoming her tiny sister to this world, there’s seeing my oldest niece’s son for the first time, there are social gatherings left, right and center – including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day lunch and New Years Eve. In between there was time to chill and talk with my awesome family, and I spent lots of time with my gorgeous siblings and their equally gorgeous spouses and children. I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I can’t say it often enough: I absolutely love my family and I am so grateful for having each and every one of them in my life. Even through my idiotic decisions the last couple of years, they have been ready to catch my fall and help me back on my feet. They have suffered with me, but t</span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">hey have never lost patience or abandoned me :D</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;background:white; mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTfXaLgQyvPqFIkJb0P21fnmcEie2IIuP5XqVXbjsnTjz6dIY91lsEdMgy4Eia0J-e19kEVKrFNE-lN2DoZkzm8-IU0jbVk3kIbj1Ux1fSw_A8MMCi6cUTSI1Ck_3XS-AIiGynUiafG0rb/s320/schultz+klanen.jpg" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px; " border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649792953303531730" /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">This summer had a few firsts for me as well: first time I was kicked out of a rented summerhouse and first time I wasn’t allowed into a night club. It was also my first visit to Weymouth and it was the first time in a few years that I’ve felt ecstatically happy – and yes, there is a man involved and his name is Paul. It wasn’t, however, the first time I met Paul, nor the second…….<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Bear with me for a quite long, yet in my humble opinion sweet, story of two people who meet, lose each other, and then have to go through so much hardship before they finally meet again and live happily ever after:<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">February 2005 I was on a business trip in Dubai and decided to take a short holiday, which I spent diving off the east coast of the Emirates. I’d booked a transfer with them and was picked up by the owner himself, who happened to be in Dubai that evening. Have you guessed his name?? It was an almost 2-hour drive, but we talked and talked and talked and were quite </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">surprised when we were suddenly at our destination. During my week there we spent a lot of time together and also went diving. I had the biggest panic attack I’ve ever had – which Paul handled with an incredible amount of patience and understanding. He says he doesn’t remember that bit, but I don’t really believe him; I think he’s just letting me keep my dignity ;)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">There was definitely a spark there, but circumstances were against us. I still had a proper job, earning real money, I was living in the Netherlands and I had my own house and (lovely) car. It was all a bit complicated and so we kept contact for a couple of months, but neither of us was ready for the big step, and our contact sort of faded away. Shortly afterwards we were both in new relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Thus unknown to Paul, I moved to Thailand, did my divemaster, worked a bit and then I moved to the Philippines where I did my instructor course and worked for a very nice resort. Customer service was top priority within the resort, so for instance a dive staff member always picked up the guests from the boat, walked them to the resort and did a tour of it, explaining everything. It was much appreciated by the guests. This meant that we had morning meetings where – among other things – the “meet & greet” was delegated and we were all informed of names etc of the guests.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">If I’d had coffee, I would have choked on it, when one morning in spring 2007 I was given “meet & greet” duties for the first part of a group. When I saw the name of the dive shop, I double-checked the name of the group leader. Yup, it was Paul. Blushing heavily, my colleagues quickly realized there was a story and made fun of me, while the red colour of my skin intensified ;) Paul wasn’t in the first group though, so I didn’t pick him up, but at least I was warned.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Paul wasn't warned ;) He arrived the next day and naturally we ran into each other in the resort. It was a precious Kodak moment when his jaw dropped ;) He didn’t know I’d become a dive pro of course, so it was a complete surprise to him. We talked and chatted a bit in the evenings and there was definitely a connection - which we didn’t pursue though, since we were both in relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">After Philippines came Saba. I was out of one relationship and into the next. Then I moved to Thailand again and back to Saba. Indonesia aaaaand Thailand again. As readers of this blog know; the relationship was turbulent to say the least, until one day in June this year, I saw history repeating itself, finally had enough and ended the relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Paul and I had been in sporadic contact for a few months, but it was purely professional – I was hoping to convince him to bring a group on the Oktavia. Anyway, our personal circumstances made us single on exactly the same day this year, and Paul suggested (jokingly I thought) to visit me in Thailand to get away from everything. I told him I’d be in Denmark and then he said he would visit me there! What???<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">As you know, I have learned from bitter experience that people aren’t necessarily trustworthy, reliable or honest, and I feel myself being more cautious as opposed to earlier, when I would trust people almost unconditionally. So while I thought it was fun to innocently flirt via emails etc, I didn’t expect him to actually come to Denmark – it seemed a bit hasty and silly (ok, to be honest I thought he just wanted to get laid and that it wouldn't be worth the money and effort to fly to Denmark just for that). After all, we hadn’t seen each other in 4 years, and a week can be a very long time if it’s spent in awkward silence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Obviously, I needn’t have worried. We continued right where we left 6 years ago in the Emirates, it’s quite bizarre really. We spent a wonderful week in Denmark and rented a small summerhouse (read: hut). Unfortunately, the landlord had forgotten another booking and so we were kicked out 2 days earlier than we planned. That meant one night on a mattress in the living room of my sister’s house (two huge glass fronts and no curtains!) and one night sharing a single bed ;) It could have been me testing his ability to adapt, adjust, be spontaneous and relaxed. It wasn’t. But he would have passed it with flying colours ;)</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVLGYqhPr1fOQGU4CH9M1DYM-sWV__qIPJ0SqU4oqSlPs2uUuh9bACxlz00Ts2-ddxiHeldZPS_O3GCcyq0v8Vqz0yPZWriti4r90tRnHPFBXyJhpNPadjx7wIHlRBCGUBlGlv4Ya4VZIB/s320/paul+%2526+karin.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 221px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649792936202546370" /> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Saying goodbye at the airport was difficult. I knew what I was feeling, but I was afraid of getting my hopes up and get hurt. I felt that I couldn’t afford to be humiliated again. Uncharacteristically, I was quiet and put myself in waiting position, playing cool towards my family “oh we’ll see what the future brings”. Hahaha, how very teenager ;) Again, I needn’t have worried; when Paul wants something, he doesn’t let details like distance or logistics stand in his way. And it became apparent that Paul wanted me too!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Flights were expensive from UK to Denmark and back; the solution was to fly me to the UK instead - that's when I was in Weymouth without letting anyone know. I honestly didn't realize how many nice people I know in that area plus it was a spontaneous decision. Next time I’ll let you all know in advance :D</span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">. It was another fantastic week. I met his family and some of his friends. Funnily enough, during a night out I was actually denied admission to a club for the first time in my life; the bouncer claimed I was drunk. Which, ironically, I wasn’t then (that came later). Apart from that bouncer, I was greeted with open arms and hospitality everywhere. Paul had effortlessly integrated himself into my family, and now I was welcomed into his. It was awesome and so everyone’s happy all way round, except that little “but”……….</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; "><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy3eJrocuUxFpc0-KAk1rzTeAB3q5__WkJpVO2uBtL0-lwXSjVsmgPiTIDV7C2HFW93bDU-yZvV8xcc1b7ZVIIDzjabRlCZlEBswsSNwHXO7p7zPnkjzqKpPvX2KXYQ7XVVyTlqDFtBBl2/s320/295999_10150796412690553_575770552_20617827_3578657_n.jpg" /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">It’s tough to live on separate continents when you’re in love. Paul’s solution? He’ll be here in two weeks (actually 13 days and 8 hours, but who's counting ;) ) and spend at least part of the season in Khao Lak and Phuket. He’ll work here on freelance basis - quite a step back for a master instructor who’s owned a dive center for years, but he says I’m worth it :D</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">I’m completely smitten and I feel both loved and appreciated. Being with Paul feels right in so incredibly many ways and I’m excited about the life and future we can build together! I’m happy we found each other in the end. Our lives would have been different if we’d dared back in 2005, but I’m thinking we weren’t ready for each other. No use crying over spilt milk anyway – we are together now and that is all that matters :D</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">So, that's the status......<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I'm one super-happy girl (can I still be a girl when I’m 40?? I sure feel like a teenager ;) )<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I deeply love the man I'm with<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Yes, I thoroughly enjoy being loved and treated like the best invention since sliced bread :D<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">And yes, I’ll definitely TRY to be better at updating you ;)<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Much love & warm thoughts to all you wonderful people out there<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;">Karin xxx<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000066;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></p>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-73803032644120566622011-04-19T20:56:00.006+07:002011-06-08T20:51:29.946+07:00Snap out of it!<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 102, 102); font-family: verdana; font-size: 13px; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; ">A year ago I wrote “The Silent Victims” about victims of people with narcissistic and/or anti-social personality disorders. I wrote it partly for my own benefit, working through some events in my life and partly because I was sick (literally, more about that in a while) of the taboo surrounding victims of emotional and verbal abuse. Much to my surprise, that blog entry has shown up in many internet searches and is being quoted on several other pages. Now I’m facing another taboo, so I thought I’d try the same therapy and I’m afraid it’s another long post…….please bear with me while I slowly get to the point ;)</span></div><p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">Many of you know that I suffer from migraine attacks. Nobody knows why, we just know that certain things are likely to trigger attacks. There’s probably a chemical imbalance in me, but scientists aren’t sure. Yet, nobody who’s seen me during an attack has any doubt that I am in severe pain. To my knowledge, nobody challenges the diagnosis or has any objections to my use of painkillers during attacks. It’s socially acceptable to suffer from migraine and to try to ease the pain with medication.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">It is also fairly known – especially by people who’ve seen me in a bikini ;) – that I have undergone surgery for scoliosis. Again, it was a serious disease or malfunction and nobody questions the diagnosis or the need for treatment.<span> </span>Get the point I’m trying to make? When people see that we’re ill they are understanding and support us in our quest for treatment and healing.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">Nine years ago my husband, Martin, died. My sadness was disabling and so severe it was almost tangible. It was easy for people to see that I was grieving and for several months I was allowed to be selfish in my mourning. After that, the first voices started “you really should get another man”, “you have to snap out of your grief”, “you have to think positive”. When I still wasn’t “over him” two years later, I only had a minimum of support left – only my closest friends and family accepted my state of mind (or emotions).<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">During my grieving period I was offered both psychological and psychiatric treatment. I declined, because I believed that psychiatric treatment would mean that I didn’t process my emotions and that I would turn into an emotionless zombie. I wasn’t alone with that belief. There is no doubt that I was suffering from a depression, which had been triggered by the death of the man I loved. At that point in my life I’m pretty sure that nobody would have frowned if I’d undergone psychiatric treatment. What I’d gone through during Martin’s illness and death was too tough to comprehend and ending in a depression was a natural consequence.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">What very few people know is that I had suffered from depression several times before. I definitely had episodes of depression as a child and young teenager, but the first severe case was when I was 17/18 and something strange happened in my life. I was very good in school, I had many friends and I was known for being constantly happy, helpful, friendly, joking and smiling. I had every reason to feel happy, but I didn’t. Unknown to me and not triggered by anything, I was in a depression. It was a very scary experience which lasted several months. I had no idea what was happening and I made up crazy stories about my illness and absence because I had absolutely no clue how to explain to anyone what was going on. I almost got kicked out of business school and I knew I was extremely sad, felt lonely, helpless, hopeless and suicidal – but I didn’t know why.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">So how does it look, this depression thing? What is the reality of a depressed person? First of all, being in a depression is not the same as being sad. Somewhere I read the description “malignant sadness”, which is quite accurate, I think. Secondly, depressed persons will invariably have different perceptions just like migraine sufferers have different perceptions, but essentially we go through the same thing. And just like a person who has never had a migraine attack can’t relate to that pain, a person who hasn’t been in a depression can’t relate to that pain. One of the best descriptions I’ve read is by Mary Rowe in an article published in The Telegraph March 2010:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">“They say clinical depression is crippling. I say it’s like being buried alive. Crushed under the weight of your own sadness, you scrabble at the walls, gasping for air, for light, for someone to help you escape. It feels like every part of you – mind, body and soul – is dying, and eventually you lose the strength to struggle, become calm and sleepy ... and just wait.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Being in a depression means sleeping for days or sitting for hours (literally) and stare at the wall, unable to move. Simple tasks like getting out of bed, taking a shower or eating become insurmountable hurdles. It means getting scared when the phone rings, not wanting to talk to anyone ever again and it takes hours of mental preparation to call in sick. I once sat on my bed with my toothbrush in the hand for nearly two hours – I’d finally managed to get it from the bathroom, but I didn’t have the strength to stand up while I cleaned my teeth and once I sat down I couldn’t find the strength to get up and walk the 5 meters to the bathroom. It means carrying an inhumane burden on your shoulders, having suicidal thoughts, feeling utterly hopeless and helpless. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Believe me, it truly is horrible. But it gets even worse….<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Apart from the obvious physical and psychological problems of being in a depression, there is the social aspect of it. Being in a depression isn’t really accepted unless there is a valid reason (for instance the death of a loved one). A gifted, smart and attractive young woman has no right to be depressed, she should be grateful. Right? So, apart from being depressed, we also feel guilty and worth less because we can’t “just snap out of it”. We are reprimanded for not contacting our friends whereas just the thought of having to talk to someone makes us panic. And of course we’re very likely to be confronted with the standard patronizing remarks from people who have absolutely no concept of what it feels like:<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">“You don’t like feeling that way? So change it! You’re responsible for your own happiness”<br />“Life isn’t meant to be easy.”<br />“This is what life is like. Get used to it.”<br /></span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">“Pull yourself together.”<br />“You just have to get on with things.”<br />“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, other people are far worse off and <i>they</i> manage”<br />“You have so many things. What do you have to feel down about? Count your blessings”<br />“You just need to cheer up.”<br />“I know how you feel. I get really sad at times too”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">“How about I cook you a good meal. That will make things better.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">“You’re not depressed; you’re just feeling a bit down. That’s normal”</span><br /><!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /><!--[endif]--></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">Once we manage to get out of that super-deep, super-dark hole yet again – after weeks or months - we feel battered, bruised and tired, but also very relieved that we survived. That would be the perfect time to go out and tell “the world” what we’ve been through, but unfortunately most of us have learned from our earliest childhood to hide our true emotions. Especially when they are embarrassing to watch. So while we recover from our depression “attack” and build up strength inside, most of us continue spending whatever energy we have to maintain the image of happy, successful people. Even during the early stages of depression we manage to find the strength to keep up the public image, so that most people who meet us have absolutely no idea what’s going on. We work, we socialize, we smile – and inside we know and we feel that we’re on the verge of falling into that deep, dark hole. It is a feeling of complete and utter loneliness to be surrounded by people and know that the world is about to collapse on us. By pretending towards the world that we’re fine we are of course shooting ourselves in the foot. Rather than focusing on getting better, we focus on appearing to be fine. And while people could surely help us during our recovery stage, we automatically waiver our rights to receive help or empathy by making them believe we’re doing just fine. Our closest friends, colleagues and family members often recognize the symptoms and are very often frustrated because they can’t help us.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><br /></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">About a year ago events in my personal life triggered another depression. Everybody could see that I was ill: I was underweight, tired, grumpy, and sad, I didn’t care about anything or anyone, there was no spark in my eyes and I had dozens of open wounds due to an auto-immune disease. It was obvious that I was ill, but most people just didn’t know what was wrong with me. Thanks to my family, I came back on my feet and finally sought professional help. I was diagnosed with periodic depression and acute depression and now receive medication against both. Now, imagine depression would be recognized for what it is: a disease caused by a malfunction. Just like migraine, depression is a disorder which can be diagnosed and treated. In my case, a chemical imbalance plays a big role. It’s like a diabetic needing insulin to function.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><br /></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif"">I was so relieved to discover that my everyday life is easier to handle. I have more energy and at the same time feel calmer. Once I found good migraine medication, the frequency of attacks went down, because I wasn’t afraid of getting them anymore. I imagine there is a certain portion of that in the case of my depression medication. Also, to my surprise I realized that I have absolutely not turned into a zombie; I still laugh, cry, get scared, have fun – the whole spectrum of emotions is intact. I’ll probably still fall into deep, dark holes; but I trust that they won’t be quite as deep and dark, not as disabling – and it’ll be easier for me to come out of them again.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><br /></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span">It was a big step for me to seek professional help and it was definitely triggered by desperation. I simply couldn’t go on anymore so it was a matter of suicide or getting help. It was a relief to find out that I am “just” suffering from periodic depressions. I’m not insane, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not a weak person – I suffer from an illness. And still, when I have told people about it, some of them have reacted the “old” way. “That’s wrong, you’re not depressed” (said in a grave tone of voice as if depression is an embarrassing STD) or “that’s a load of BS, you just need to make the decision to be happy”. These remarks hurt. A lot. Which is why I find it important to spread awareness and understanding of emotional disorders (sounds nicer than mental diseases, don’t you think?). And in some ways, “going public” with it now is an even bigger step. With this, I am opening up to criticism and ridicule – but of course also to understanding and empathy. Approx. 10% of the population suffer from depression disorders. How many people do you know? You never thought I suffer from depression, did you? Don't I look happy in this picture?<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(51, 102, 102); font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; color: rgb(51, 102, 102); font-family: verdana; font-size: 10pt; "><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Verdana","sans-serif""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWfYLqQ7ysbnDgRaKPwVAKNfpaCqWz5MzPNea6zlOPm9PwOX_pHmISAdQJGhgrLCV_ILtKrnlgaJLBZqiHFNqC16Qw7UOgVFQnu0DdgGyPBIxAEwGrLoP9M-fDRMSEZsJDQJFcarLoK9_F/s320/DSC_0476.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597294380438792274" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 228px; height: 320px; " /></span></span></p><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div></span></span><p></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span">When I went to hospital here in Thailand a couple of months ago and spoke to a psychiatrist, he asked about my history. He was shocked and his jaw dropped when I told him that my first definite case of depression was in my late teens and he said with moist eyes “you have lived with this for twenty years? That is so sad”. He was right, it is indeed very sad. If emotional disorders and their treatment were less of a taboo I would probably have sought and received help many years and several depressions earlier. I would have been spared so much pain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span">I am still me. I am a happy, friendly and smiling person. I am reasonably intelligent and attractive. I am strong, self-confident and independent. I am also a person who suffers from migraine and periodically gets “depression attacks”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Thank you for listening and to everyone who’s helped me: I am deeply grateful for your patience and tolerance<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></p><p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Yours<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p style="margin:0cm;margin-bottom:.0001pt;vertical-align:baseline"><span style="font-size: 10pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Karin xxx</span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-43590307199589721762011-03-03T17:02:00.010+07:002011-03-03T17:40:52.927+07:00Where is it then?? - Life's pause button? ;)<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrHIUpCB27yRm-GKpN3Cgob6jxL8V-1jzcLYnyZp4fzeSpssWODLlkm1qVKMcxSjFB3V4AfnRjuDGfIdB-jPmpSh9kZ89sklXLB5rh2EGR5-b-nGHHb5vsTjtd3StOfjxUwr4q5VRfCfR/s320/h+%2526+l+boat+trip+2.jpg" style="text-align: center;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579793630076930786" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">Is it just me or are there more people out there who wish we could press pause once in a while? Don’t worry about answering; it’s a rhetoric question ;) Sometimes things happen quickly and events overlap each other. That’s when I wish I could have just a day or two to catch my breath. Doesn’t work like that in this business though, so it’s a matter of hanging in there until low seaso</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">n :0</span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">After the visits around Christmas and New Year, it was back to normal in January. Normal plus whatever work had piled up on my desk while I was busy enjoying life with my family. Business finally picked up with more tourists in the streets and more bookings - needed after a near-disastrous beginning of the season. One day chased the other and suddenly we were in February.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">January is a bit of a blur, I’m not sure I did anything, except working. I’ll let you know if I think of something ;) February was quite eventful, though. I started off with tour leading our boat on a full charter with 23 Austrian divers. I won’t go into details, but I’ll just mention that I truly, honestly and completely deserved a cold beer when we returned with all guests and without causing permanent bodily harm to anyone J</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">My colleague, Bernie, had taken care of things in the office while I was on the boat, so unexpectedly there weren’t any extra piles of work waiting for me. Luxury :D A week later Bernie and I decided unanimously and spontaneously that I should go on the boat one more trip. Two boat trips in one month, SWEET :D Office work isn’t that boring with a boat trip here and there to remind me why I moved to the warm countries in the first place.</span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7CLoqiznRrakt8KcwwbSacxmITs16FPOsIBRKZ3TYvwKzCQAtYVo7BSWwbz_wgQ-TZyp3SdwsM6cpBStWOFnGBWJJhbKRRyFHB1Rjh9yX7kpZlGBaxxqjfgTbnkMTHdtCueJJST8tT3WK/s320/h+%2526+l+boat+trip+1.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579800176752970434" /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">Last Saturday, we took 17 children from the Home & Lif</span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">e orphanage</span> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">on a boat </span><span class="Apple-style-span">trip with fun,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; "> games, swimming and food. It was magic to see that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">many happy & smiling faces on the Oktavia! I am impressed that “my owners” made this possible – many people talk a lot and do very little. They immediately liked the idea and made it possible. Amazing :D</span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGhNfB8mGAtBoLLJHpom0kQnPReP3CgbxAtsBM_0S9MMBOUdfCus-iiVNKraOQ9V8o9lWNBiXOu5tLbntos_p-m546FmzuUjlCwwLSgk7cgYU8nG1fl8nOpunmoAGJc0F2TY8wcRekYB6V/s320/h+%2526+l+3.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579800173660286354" /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">The orphanage is a beautiful place, a family home rather than an institution. Unfortunately, they don’t get support from the government, so they rely on private funding, which makes life very difficult. We do whatever we can to raise awareness and get donations, so that this incredible place can keep running. A day on the Oktavia didn’t get them any more food on their plates this month, but at least the kids (and adults) had a fun day out :D</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">Now it’s time for the month-end closing and as usual I find myself digging out all sorts of things that have higher priority. Such as updating my blog ;) I’m about to book my flights for this summer – I’ll be in Denmark mid-June to mid-August (ish). And I am seriously considering some major investments……….a vacuum cleaner (already decided) and a mountain bike. The vacuum cleaner makes sense – sweeping with a broom just doesn’t do it for me. The mountain bike would be nice to have, but must admit that I wouldn’t have much opportunity to use it in high season – and in low season a canoe would be more useful in the streets here :0</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">Enough said…it’s back to work now……..take care lovely people</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span">Karin xxx</span></p>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-59546853983549653432011-01-01T12:38:00.003+07:002011-01-01T16:46:19.440+07:00HAPPY NEW YEAR<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><u><br /></u></span></div>It's definitely been an eventful year. Of all the words I could use to describe it, "boring" would be the last I'd think of. Guess that's nothing new in my life, really ;)<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>2010 started with worries, a never-ending row of illnesses, an emotional breakdown, 7 kg underweight, and way too much work. 2010 ended with happiness, good health, emotional stability, my ideal weight, and a day off :D</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaZnNggWRWO_WNgcLmisT3arj7-BmdYvYxKbROR-x8Cp3KIusH6vhwyehyphenhyphenKZRG9LC2NrBQPdw4uinXEitLHBi38kTo3vbCuzgb_pBo_X_ui74yEdwvd9z1Hkc_bdn7-ZUwlr0qJLnXjx9d/s320/karin.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 283px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557149953971894578" /></div><div><br /></div><div>Between those, there was a long stay in Denmark and Norway with my lovely family. I met my niece, Freja, and felt very fortunate to have enough time to bond with her. My oldest niece announced her first pregnancy (it's ok, she's 26 ;) ) and gave birth to a healthy baby boy just a couple of days ago. My sister & family inaugurated our, oeps I mean their, new (and very luxurious) summer house - which is of course the gathering point of our entire family, just like the old one was.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>It had been 3 years since my last visit and it was about time. Many things have happened in Denmark since I left the country 16 years ago. The language has changed a lot (why do people think it's cool to translate American terms directly into Danish?? - It sounds silly and wanna-be) and it would appear that Danish culture has changed a lot. There seems to be less "hygge" and tolerance, but more narrow-mindedness and sense of entitlement. Or maybe it's me getting older. Or maybe it's me having widened my horizon by living in other cultures.</div><div><br /></div><div>Going back confirmed that I love the country and my friends and family dearly. Going back also strengthened my suspicion that I would find it very difficult to live in Denmark again. But to be fair, I have been (or am) known to make surprising decisions ;)</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of surprising decisions.......do remind me to tell you about my personal life at some point.......never a dull moment and a huge surprise for everyone, especially myself (no I'm not pregnant!!!) ;)))</div><div><br /></div><div>In September I returned to Thailand to continue working for M/V Oktavia, the best live-aboard in Thailand (if I do say so myself). 2009 I came to Khao Lak just a couple of weeks before the season started and there simply wasn't enough time to set up the organisation the way I'd have liked to. Hence the early start this year. The result is that the administration runs more smoothly this season and we have transformed our office into a rather nice-looking shop. Unfortunately, shops are open till 21-ish here, so my spare time is rather limited - but I do have an assistant this year, so I don't start work until noon-ish. This gives me time to go to the gym in the morning, something I've missed quite a bit.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of gym, my brother and his family came to visit a couple of weeks ago. You may not see the connection, but they brought me a lovely present: new running shoes :D Some things are just difficult to get here. For instance Danish Christmas cookies, Gammel Dansk and salty liquorice. And Asics running shoes ;)) They all came on the boat for a 5-day cruise and did some snorkelling. One of my bonus nieces did her Open Water course with me and Torben went diving for the first time since 1989. His ears weren't happy about it though, so we left it at the one dive.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before the trip I was a bit worried about my sinuses after all the trouble I had last season and the doctor's verdict that I need surgery. I didn't have any problems at all and it was absolutely wonderful to be back in the water - 11 months after my last dive! Being on the boat was of course still work, but it's very different from sitting in an office all day every day. Besides, I have awesome colleagues, who basically wouldn't let me do any boat work during the trip - so I was just teaching and doing office work whenever the phone connection allowed it :) I felt my batteries charging day by day :D After the trip, we all spent Christmas eve at a Swedish restaurant here in Bang Niang. Surprisingly enough, Swedish food isn't all that bad. It was quite lovely, really - I grudgingly admit ;))</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyEjvaW5LCx-PjaNDdQJT3eVqqau1alkKsWO9WIw8mvnWDXpzOGPVH9lYiDSww_xJRu6uzjiY-6GOGVeomIE9kJGMdqSbBKCmTk4GrA8j6m9YyCSiu_uQsqqUBQ_gmY6HCgMzPeHBpVwgg/s320/IMG_2031.JPG" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Speaking of which (I'm quite good at those transitions, ey?).......there's something else I have to admit: there's a new man in my life. he has the same name and looks exactly the same as my previous partner, Jan, but this one behaves in a very different way. We both spent the 6 months apart wondering and considering what we want, need and expect. The result was that Jan came to Thailand 2,5 weeks in December and left today. We have both learned a lot about ourselves and each other and we have both grown a lot. And so we've decided to wipe the board clean and start from the beginning again without the mud of the past. There are of course still some issues and it'll be a long while before everything's dealt with, but we are both very happy, both very much in love - and now we're taking things step by step. It feels very good and very right - and who could possibly ask for more.</div><div><br /></div><div>After two weeks with humane working hours and lots of fun with family, friends and partner it's time to roll up the skirt again. Uhm, that'd be sleeves, I guess. I'm way behind at work and have been pushing the work load in front of me, where it's still sitting, towering over me. I also have to move into my new place properly - I moved one day before we went on the boat and have been otherwise occupied the past 10 days, so the place still looks like the first day (apart from the shelf units, which Jan assembled and I still haven't filled). Cha-cha as we say in Thailand - slowly slowly ;))</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of cha-cha.....things are really moving slowly in one area: there is something missing in Khao Lak.........a tourist or two. It's a BAD season down here; very few tourists and the ones we see don't want to spend any money. Quite disastrous in an area which depends almost entirely on tourism and where most people are constantly living on the edge - financially. Many businesses have closed down already and many will follow. There are less volunteers for the charity projects and less donations for the orphanages and Burmese schools here. I always find it interesting when European tourists complain about the current financial problems. They can still afford to fly to Thailand, they probably all have a nice place to live, they don't have to worry about finding money for the next meal and I'm pretty certain they own at least one car and one TV. Try walking through a Thai village, think again and then stop complaining! Most people in the Western world have a lot to be grateful for; they just sometimes need to be reminded of it ;)</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of which (last one today, I promise - just couldn't resist)........Before I dig into work it's time to say a big fat THANK YOU! I am humble when I think of the fantastic people I have in my life, my wonderful friends, my incredible family, who always makes me feel safe, secure and loved - no matter what life throws at me or what I throw myself into ;) Thank you all for 2010, I look forward to going through 2011 with you.</div><div><br /></div><div>I wish you all a good and happy new year with lots of precious moments</div><div><br /></div><div>Karin xxxx</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-59638437235128745632010-07-24T18:02:00.003+07:002010-07-24T18:08:10.920+07:00THE SILENT VICTIMS<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">My sincere apologies in advance for a very long post. Today's topics are things I had to process and since I've never been in favor of taboos, I decided to share it with all of you. Maybe one day they won't be a taboo anymore and maybe one day we can talk openly about this type of things, thus making it easier for the victims to get help and stop feeling guilty, ashamed and inadequate for something that was never their fault.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">There is a lot of prejudice when it comes to infidelity and emotional abuse. There seems to be the common belief (at least until the Sandra Bullock "case") that women are cheated on if they are unattractive and/or not interested in sex. Likewise, there seems to be a general opinion that women in abusive relationships are to blame for the continuous abuse, because "…they could just get up and leave". I hope to help spread the understanding that it is far from being that simple.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">To avoid lawsuits, let me at this point assure that all examples and scenarios below are fiction. Any and all resemblance to existing places and/or persons is purely co-incidental and completely unintentional. I have "borrowed" material from several websites, blogs, and support groups - I thank the suppliers of the material (especially Dr. Sam Vaknin).<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Deal or No Deal?</span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">'Here's the deal, sweetie. For several months or so, I'm going to pretend to be everything you ever wanted. I'll shower you with attention, affection and all manner of stuff to make you feel special. Then, once I know you're depending on me as your significant other, and have made a commitment, I'm going to quit pretending and be who I really am. I'm going to start treating you really badly, I'll say insensitive things, I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll be really cruel, possibly humiliate you in public. Your job will be to figure out what happened and do everything in your power to restore the relationship to what it was, until you either die, try to kill yourself, or collapse and get sent to hospital, which will be pretty funny because there's no chance whatsoever I'll ever pretend to be that 'nice guy' again – and by the way, it WAS a pretence. So what do you say, sweetie? Do we have a deal? Several years of hell in exchange for a few months of fantasy?'</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Obviously, nobody would accept that deal, but for approx 2% of the Western population - the majority of them women - the above scenario is reality within their relationship. These people have become involved with a person who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (N) or is a Narcissistic Sociopath (NS).<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The Psychopath</span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">If you have been lied to AND cheated on AND humiliated/discredited in public AND verbally abused AND bullied AND disrespected in other ways within a relationship, you very likely suffered being the prey of an N or NS.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) defines narcissism personality disorder (NPD) as an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">To an average person, a narcissist may seem to be quite self-confident and accomplished-- but really the narcissist suffers from a great deficit in self-esteem and needs an outside supply of adulation, admiration, fame, greatness.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">A typical Narcissistic Sociopath:</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">. They will tell horror stories of their (previous) partners and create a web of lies to convince third parties that they are cute, patient & innocent, whereas their (previous) partners are horrible people.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">cannot be trusted or relied upon</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">fails to fulfill commitments</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, he/she displays the emotional age of a five-year-old</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol;mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters.</span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"> Often, he prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. The narcissist uses other people's bodies to masturbate. Sex with him - pyrotechnics and acrobatics aside - is likely to be an impersonal and emotionally alienating and draining experience. The partner is often treated as an object, an extension of the somatic narcissist, a toy, a warm and pulsating vibrator</span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">displays a compulsive need to criticize, especially previous and current victims<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is quick to discredit anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call him to account<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:14.2pt;text-indent:-14.2pt;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list 54.0pt"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Symbol;mso-fareast-font-family:Symbol;mso-bidi-font-family:Symbol"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"> </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"><br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma"> <span class="apple-style-span">The Narcissist often lacks insight into his or her behavior and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that he/she is aware, but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Narcissists are PATHOLOGICAL liars. This means that they are either unaware of their lies – or feel completely justified and at ease in lying to others. Often, they believe their own lies and attain "retroactive veracity". Their very essence is a huge, contrived, lie: the FALSE Self, the grandiose FANTASIES, and the IDEALISED objects.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Most narcissists reject the notion or diagnosis that they are mentally disturbed. Absent powers of introspection and a total lack of self-awareness are part and parcel of the disorder. Pathological narcissism is founded on alloplastic defences - the firm conviction that the world or others are to blame for one's behavior. The narcissist firmly believes that people around him should be held responsible for his reactions or have triggered them. With such a state of mind so firmly entrenched, the narcissist is incapable of admitting that something is wrong with HIM.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">While victims of Narcissists are generally codependents, most have no idea how they got in this situation, because in the early stages of the relationship the Narcissistic person can be the most charming, Academy Award winning actor or actress (according to the DSM-IV, 50-75% of narcissists are men), of the century.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The early days of the dating is fast, furious, and vastly romantic. Oftentimes marriage proposals come within a few weeks. The "victim" sees the narcissist as the "Perfect Partner". She's never met someone so wonderful in her lifetime and falls head-over-heels in love. The two go on to live happily ever after - or so she thinks - until the "real" partner surfaces. The once wonderful Dr. Jekyll turns into the dangerous Mr. Hyde who quickly instills fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and total confusion to the relationship.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> She often finds out that there were other women on the side all the time.</span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The change can be quick and powerful or slow and insidious.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">We are all way too familiar with overt narcissists: those abusive husbands who send thousands of battered women to the emergency room each year. They feel it is their God-given right to beat, abuse, and otherwise mis-treat their partner in whatever method they deem necessary and no one can tell them otherwise.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Then there is the verbally abusive and controlling narcissist - the one who uses emotional abuse as his weapon of choice. He erodes her self-worth to nothing to keep her under his control.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Who else could possible want such a worthless woman as she? With that belief, she will never leave him for good, although she makes many brief attempts to do so. She always returns. The brainwashing that continues day after day is emotionally exhausting, draining, and vastly unhealthy.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Yet almost worse is the "Stealth Narcissist," so sinister and silent in his ability to drive his partner crazy that she doesn't suspect anything bad is happening until it's too late. He is the master of the little digs - "Honey, why on earth would you cook eggs in butter? NO ONE does it that way. What's wrong with you?" Or, "If you'd only do what I say then we'd both be happy."</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">He issues the "silent treatment" when he is slighted, punishing his spouse by ignoring her for hours, leaving her wondering what she did "wrong" to make him act this way. He may "forget" birthday or Christmas presents, year after year. He may show up hours late and his partner is just supposed to understand, with no explanation even offered. He may have another woman on the side and feel quite entitled to do so.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Yet, to those outside his inner kingdom he looks like a saint. He may tell her she's too skinny while openly admiring over-weight women - or vice versa.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">No matter which type of narcissist he is, the end result is the same - a slow, insidious, breaking down of the self-esteem of his victims until there's next to nothing left, at which point, the narcissist will frequently throw his partner out in order to look for someone new and full of life to make his next target. Leaving his victim an emotional wreck wondering what she did to destroy their once "perfect" relationship.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> He typically discards his partner after 11-13 years and generally has his new prey lined up already.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The Narcissist himself rarely changes. Why should you change your behavior for anyone else? Yet the biggest secret is that deep inside, he loathes himself, and is desperate that no one find out who the "real" person is inside his tough, outer shell.</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><strong><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-weight:normal;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed -- they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie.</span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><strong><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;font-weight:normal; mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">Assuming he's rational (aren't all men?) and wants what you want (loving mutuality), you strain to make sense of what he says. But it's nonsense, designed to confuse you. The shocking truth is, he seeks control, not intimacy.</span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">T</span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana">he N/NS has many alters, many secret lives, and they count on others to reinforce the idea that they 'would never do such a thing' and that they 'are not like that'. Ironically, the N/NS will tell lies and slander their "friends" and previous partners, offering privileged, private and intimate information they were told in confidence.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><span class="apple-converted-space"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The Abuse<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">The problem was swept under the carpet for generations and even today, society largely ignores domestic violence and abuse. This induces feelings of shame and guilt in the victims and "legitimizes" the role of the abuser.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Abuse and violence cross geographical and cultural boundaries and social and economic strata. It is common among the rich and the poor, the well-educated and the less so, the young and the middle-aged, city dwellers and rural folk. It is a universal phenomenon.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Overt abuse</span></b></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"> is defined as the open and explicit abuse of another person. Threatening, coercing, beating, lying, betraying, berating, demeaning, chastising, insulting, humiliating, exploiting, ignoring ("silent treatment"), devaluing, unceremoniously discarding, verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse are all forms of overt abuse.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><strong><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">Verbal abuse</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;font-weight:normal;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold"> escalates gradually; you adapt. (The abuse might also become physical.) He's Jekyll and Hyde, with just enough sweet times to keep you hoping the relationship will improve.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><b><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Covert abuse</span></b><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"> revolves around the abuser's need to assert and maintain control over his victim. It can wear many forms, not all of which are self-evident, unequivocal, and unambiguous.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana">Ambient abuse</span></b><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family: Verdana"> is the fostering, propagation and enhancement of an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation. There are no acts of traceable explicit abuse, nor any manipulative settings of control. Yet, the irksome feeling remains, a disagreeable foreboding, a premonition, a bad omen. This is sometimes called "gaslighting".<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">For those who don’t know what gaslighting is, it’s something our abusers do or say to make US think WE’RE the ones who are going insane. They say and do things to make us question our sanity, our memory of events, our boundaries, our values, and our beliefs. It’s when they says things like: </span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold"><br /><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “I never said that.” (when you KNOW they did and have a clear memory of it) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You’re imagining things.” (when you KNOW you’re not) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You’re always overreacting.” (when you’re reacting EXACTLY as any normal, well-adjusted person would react. </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You’re such a drama queen.” (when HE is the one creating drama) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” (when you know EXACTLY what you’re talking about) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You’re always accusing me of things.” (when, the reason you accuse him of things is because you KNOW he has lied or cheated) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “You’re always so suspicious.” (when he has given you AMPLE reason to be) </span></span><br /><span class="postlistpostbody"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt">• “What about all the sh*t you’ve done to ME?” (when you haven’t done a THING to him other than love him, appease him, cater to his every want and whim) </span></span><br /> </span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Gaslighting is when y</span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">our husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time - you believe that there is something fundamentally wrong and that his inappropriate behavior is perfectly all right. Typically, he will tell the other people at the dinner party that you are jealous, possessive etc.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">In the long term, such an environment erodes the victim's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Self-confidence is shaken badly. Often, the victim adopts a paranoid or schizoid stance and thus renders herself exposed even more to criticism and judgment. The roles are thus reversed: third parties consider the victim mentally deranged and the abuser as the suffering soul.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Most abusers use more than one type of abuse.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p>A proposed law in <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">France</st1:country-region></st1:place> will make chronic emotional abuse a criminal offense this year. This is a global first in the war against psychological abuse in relationships.<br /><br /></p><p><br /><b>The victim<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Whatever happened? - You ask yourself. After all, he came on like a hurricane. You were probably blown over from day one, isn’t that so? He was practically chasing you and the more you resisted, the more he tried to win you over. He wanted you to move in with him almost immediately and even asked you to marry him after only weeks or a few months together.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">It is easy to slip on blinders when some handsome man with seemingly so much going for him suddenly wants to see you all the time. And then, there were undoubtedly romantic dinners, those flowers, and extravagant gifts that seemed a bit much because of the newness of your relationship. Nonetheless, you likely accepted them because he had some reason why you should. He kept pointing out how much you had in common. That he had never lived fully until he met you. That his previous relationship was boring and meaningless - and that he only stayed with his ex out of a sense of duty.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Because he was being so nice and so thoughtful, you didn’t want to hurt his feelings, either. Besides, everything seemed just oh so right.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Until it seemed all so wrong instead.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-ansi-language:EN">What is remarkable is that most people who experience this kind of manipulation are actually very successful in every other area of their lives and could never imagine themselves in an abusive relationship, but this is such a gradual process that it tends to creep up on them - and by the time they realize it, the damage is usually already done.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The abuse doesn't happen because the victims volunteer for it. The abuse happens because the abusers lie, manipulate and speak in mixed messages, and out of love and a sense of fairness we trust them.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">The narcissist / narcissistic sociopath is bad even for your looks – reason enough in itself to leave him quickly. He will make you feel ugly, unwanted, inadequate, not up to his standard, no matter how intelligent, good-looking, or smart you are. He makes you feel like this so that you are in line with his dreadful feelings about himself.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Many women never realize they were victims, even when they are discarded by the N/NS after 11-13 years, which is the time it typically takes him to suck a soul dry. They are left wondering what happened, why he said "I love you" one day and left her the next day. And how he can get over her so quickly that he has a new "love" within only weeks or even days.</span></span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana"><br /> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">We have to deal with the fact that even knowing what they're doing, and how unfair and hurtful it is to us, the N/NS may not care … due to their lack of compassion for anyone else, and because they are emotional sadists.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">Loving a N/NS is like fighting an addiction. Even if you realize what is happening and what he is doing to you, you may not be able to resist him. It's entirely understandable. At one time you felt great love and passion for this man, and there is some part of you that WISHES he wasn't what you know him to be, WISHES it wasn't all true, that it didn't happen the way it did, and that you could GET BACK that guy you thought he was. A woman is easily tempted to think maybe this is some sort of aberration, something going on in his life, stress, mental illness, and that the OTHER GUY, the one she fell in love with was the REAL HIM. It is horrible having to finally face the fact that she fell in love with a Jekyll and Hyde facade. It absolutely sucks.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">What is it like when you are the victim?? - He knew how to seduce you. In fact, you enjoyed great sex in those early days. After a while, though, it might be practically nonexistent or else abusive. Often, he continues seducing other women despite being in a relationship with you (he'll flirt, have sex, use Facebook/MSN/emails /chats/dating sites - he'll make sure he has supply available, his self esteem needs it as a boost).</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">But despite the fact this man now shouts obscenities at you regularly, you probably make excuses for his bad behavior. You want to cling to the image he presented in the beginning. You are most likely a lovely woman, and it is because you are a lovely woman that he was attracted to you in the first place.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">He probably suspected you were the codependent type who would bend over backwards to please him. Yes, you would forfeit your own needs and desires while he battered you with his emotional abuse and verbal abuse. It is probably because you are a caring and empathic person that you have trouble seeing the truth about your relationship, too.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma">You tell yourself that if you could only be better yet, things would be okay. You blame yourself for the fact he is not pleased – and secretly believe he has the right to belittle you. It can be difficult to take off the blinders you are invariably wearing and stare the truth hard in the face. You should remind yourself how long it has been since your narcissistic spouse has come bearing flowers and gifts – including just the gift of kind and empathic words.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial">How do you get out?</span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">A narcissist is with his partner because he regards IT as a Source of Narcissistic Supply. He values the partner as such a source. Put differently: the minute that the partner ceases to supply him with what he needs - he loses all interest in IT. (I use IT judiciously - the narcissist objectifies his partners, treats them as he would inanimate objects.)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">The transition from over-valuation (bestowed upon Sources of Narcissistic Supply) to devaluation (reserved for other mortals) is so swift that it is likely to inflict pain upon the narcissist's partner, even if he previously prayed for the narcissist to depart and leave him alone. The partner is the narcissist's pusher and the drug that he is proffering is stronger than any other drug because it sustains the narcissist's very essence (his False Self).</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Without Narcissistic Supply the narcissist disintegrates, crumbles and shrivels - very much as vampires do in horror movies when exposed to sunlight.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Here lies the partner's salvation. An advice to you: if you wish to sever your relationship with the narcissist, stop providing him with what he needs. Do not adore, admire, approve, applaud, or confirm anything that he does or says. Disagree with his views, belittle him (or put him in perspective and proportion), compare him to others, tell him that he is not unique, criticize him, make suggestions, and offer help. In short, deprive him of that illusion which holds his personality together.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">A narcissist / narcissistic sociopath will decide when he's finished preying on you, when you may be discarded. If you try to end the relationship, he will behave like a 5-year-old, whose favorite toy is taken away: he'll be angry, he'll try to make you feel sorry for him, he'll pretend he doesn't want you and then he'll throw another jealousy tantrum - he'll continue until you give in and take him back, or until you manage to make it absolutely clear that you will have nothing to do with him ever again. If you offer him any attention, he'll take advantage and once again manipulate you into staying in the relationship.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">There is only one way: run, run fast - and don't look back!!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Many victims suffer 2-3 years before finally recovering reasonably from a relationship with a N/NS - and many receive treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When comparing experiences it is remarkable and quite scary to notice how similar their N/NS partners were/are - it feels as they are all a clone of the same man. They do and say almost exactly the same.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">If you do manage to break free, congratulate yourself that you got out of there before he drained your soul completely and be proud that you saved yourself.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">If you didn't break free, if you were hit by the steam roller and still have no idea what went wrong and why you were suddenly discarded, please remember that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. He is a sick man and though you may still love him, he is seriously bad for you!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; "> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Here's a big hug to all my old and new friends - especially those of you who have helped me through the past 18 months. Thanks to you, I am now free and strong; rather than broken and devastated. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana">Karin XXXXXX</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-48172227388596180362010-06-02T18:20:00.006+07:002010-06-02T19:04:02.947+07:00Welcome to Paradise - now without Snakes ;)<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj92CwRqwgF6b5SfW-3nktR2Y_RvdK3VyXIYQFhblRMxkOEYiNQP-sMJKNRKmEeZzI9YLR2rbZlY2xb7a-lBUIdCk9KphhFlFuVVLtmsCjpc9tuZkj9gv4gUGjjd6C-b6fDvcxca_5Na2L9/s320/karin+sail+rock.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478138702049388082" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhceUli0diKWiNNKXJ_N6UTUQu8z1_12mjh1w0Seb15sq91TyXMWtfOohfF0veKL1kV0KZ0vphBPSMJwq5hphKg3JI39uSlDTaLplrabeD6rbbtAmfZLHLIh76ryKVg80NBioylVeQCha62/s320/torben+og+karin2.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478140417603202194" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">Well, this update is a bit difficult……</span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Many of you already know of the latest developments in my life. For the rest of you: I have ended the relationship with Jan completely and permanently. I can’t tell you why without being accused of disloyalty or “washing dirty laundry in public”, so let me just say that I had plenty of extremely good reasons to run.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I am overwhelmed by the suppo</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">rt of my fa</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">mily and friends throughout the past 2 years – even though most of them have never been in this kind of situation, their empathy, understanding and patience together with online self-help groups are what have given me the strength I needed to finally end the relationship.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Now it’s time to get back on my feet and stop feeling like a naïve, gullible, romantic idiot. I need to get my self esteem back, I need to look to the future and most importantly, I need to get back the spark in my eyes. How does one do that, you ask? Well, I’m going to spend the next 2,5 months with my family and friends in Denmark and Norway. I’m leaving in less than a week and am already soooo excited. I haven’t been “home</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">” in 3 years, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">so it’s about time!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">There is no doubt in my mind that I’ll return to Thailand with spark, self esteem and ready to rock ;) Oh, maybe that answers the other question I’m getting………yes, I am returning to Thailand in September to continue working for the M/V Oktavia.</span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq60Itm8SPhUkc1T2qNL3WtVlF5-IOcBUf7egoHLagtCJzCopzCFh20MsjYp_C4j7rRPXo9qOns9Ig5Z1q4q9z-8j_EtopvCDsGRhHUnYSBfoSmu-t6df1rAIFJpud4_VgsGrnio5BTkxg/s320/another+day+in+the+office.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478138687341308626" /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Our season ended 1</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">st</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> May and let me assure you it was tough! </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">We</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;"> have a fantastic and unique product, but this was the first season running the boat directly, so there were quite a few things to do – routines to be established, evaluated and changed. The whole administration had to be built up from scratch and of course we didn’t want to start with too high fix costs for staff, so we all worked really hard.</span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh30_rpAzGYIJjNdkqKstxc-9ED6hfeppRbWZ4dRqCSbyv3AfpFfpmanAlmu-f67ROvcy4ffvGJTNPeBwFu00FwyC-6-eaE3bvhScAowQakflqnT1wwtNu9K9c2bcJxf8jUxeenaunoMt1/s320/day+in+the+office+2.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478138694292880850" /><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Considering the global financial situation and the fact tha</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">t it </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">was our first season, we have every reason to be happy and proud. We did better than expected – but of course not as well as we hoped ;) The new mantra is……….next season, everything will be much easier/better/nicer :D I have absolutely lovely colleagues and “owners”, so I’m really looking forward to next season.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBb9x4MUeon87pUbEqoOFzFb0RTjsSBIetTXre8IRvP_26HCiWyb2-xsuda-2Sp5AzgpGmb-qLZhhXnF-RBFgQLykU6E42-1su_dc06gC6-pys_ElG4yiALauvScI_2b2EFc0rz_AgJUZ/s320/snapper.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478140405890450066" /><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6QrJ0Sf2LLO1-vIjArEKBixuJhRuaT8uVBkzSZs8sg3qRXcmhfPv0dRc3FcYhqZdNb4w5imMtVKd30bgB-K204kmy2faA3HRZTWe-JTYMX_zo2QsL4LWQedsY4yDbhAWHaVCcGmNoAFq/s320/7+mm.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478140399172196738" /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYyIhjai8p0D0GivGAUz0j7odA-G5PzGI0l4wzNbX0-WsNdP4hVwPypTQNzsYTZqm99k-1WB_FtJshGwDONpdvQqm2ISCtVz7YJIkOtdM3V5T4iDIxWChivXOesK7hpd1eR1DN7Na-OuOt/s320/torben+og+karin.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 235px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478140411177372674" /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My brother, Torben, came for a week’s visit in April. We went on "my" boat 3 days and had time for a bit of touristy activities as well :) It was great</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;"> to be able to show him “my world” – which is apparently very different from the images in his head; I think he was relieved to see that I am not a dive bum hanging out on the beach every day getting drunk at 11 am ;) He’s returning in December with his partner, my nieces, nephew and niece-in-law – the “kids” (hm, not sure I’m allowed to call them that) are going to do their open water course with me; gives them a chance to find out I can be strict and demanding as well :0</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgw0aSFUZJNXp7Wb0PPRIQddhNmKx_ocLeargQhwUl8fMCSQaAMIMQdfQZyg6X71jY5YRfJDiFG37ii-7OoztLqxh-VQ2M9N_tsDmA5E8pCNeN8kloTbA1hFFWt-2rEXVIpVgVWydpLyHx/s320/phang+nga+bay.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478138714622310898" /><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">My brother, Jacob, is a diver - as are my niece, Bodil, and her husband; you may remember they visited me on Saba. Diving with family is so very cool; it even beats playing Monopoly at family gatherings ;) Unfortunately, Torben doesn’t dive anymore, but we snorkeled in the Similans and had a lovely hour at Koh Bon with 3 manta ray encounters. Huh, welcome to my office :D</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-KKid-1GNYaF3jGIbpiJp7IQ3FvZklZ_dSX69L0gU1w6lt6JKO_QvST3vWlQxyefpS8fJAoMgi8aU43t_dP_UIHGZ_L3nsl-Be6SlG2uVXifmGR2TtWNQ1qOojGgydWDY7O6ez4qR4Z_/s320/day+in+the+office.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478138699042688962" /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:verdana;">Sadly, a combination of work, permanent illness, and relationship issues meant I didn’t spend as much time with my friends as I’d like…….that, too, will be different next season. First step is to spend a couple of days with Debs on Phuket before I fly to the cold countries :D</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">All in all, I’m on my way out of the deep, black hole and am fortunate and lucky to have marvelous friends and family, who not only catch me when I fall but also help me back onto my feet, Everything will be O K :D</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Take care lovely people, until next time…….</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Your Karin / QoW xxx</span></p><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzjnFWEFG4cDLvMbGW9VA-0AoVwcGY7Z5_xV35FAE2f2NRoDw87dUz2YmegvDixb66aUi77GSij3rdO1i6UWw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-80286280038327045712010-01-20T15:14:00.004+07:002010-01-20T16:26:55.315+07:00Happy New Year<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5GNcfhQEVGR6NgVlgJemgfDvuqGQVgp54ChDA-JLln6QXCgTI7l05v47d_F9YkyK8WpI_Ak063LBLrnEYnMcqjxiPSMnoaleb0q4AN3ZPWQCsrvTHbYqXX8Fq5oc2umXcwN0SDZXeoo9/s1600-h/jan+and+karin+small.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 235px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5GNcfhQEVGR6NgVlgJemgfDvuqGQVgp54ChDA-JLln6QXCgTI7l05v47d_F9YkyK8WpI_Ak063LBLrnEYnMcqjxiPSMnoaleb0q4AN3ZPWQCsrvTHbYqXX8Fq5oc2umXcwN0SDZXeoo9/s320/jan+and+karin+small.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428746572239975186" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Ah yes, it has indeed been a while.....</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Let me start by saying that I am still in the same country as three months ago, still have the same job and am still together with Jan.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I guess one of the main reasons I haven't updated the blog in a while is that there haven't been any dramatic developments in my life the past months - except maybe one......</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Difficult to believe that I've been in Khao Lak 3,5 months already! Time passes ridiculously fast when you're having fun or when you're working your butt off - both of which apply to my current situation ;)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I'd love to describe some of the fun events here, but work life is a bit hectic, so I simply don't have space in my head for it right now - but low season is just around the corner (end April) and THEN I'll have time :D</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">There is no doubt that I'll be in Denmark this summer btw. I really really have to see my family, it's been three years now - so even if I have to hitchhike I'll make my way up north around June-July.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Completely out of context, I read this one the other day: Some people spread happiness wherever they go, other people spread happiness whenever they go. I like that one LOL</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Fortunately, I am once again surrounded by happy, positive people - what a difference it makes. I promise to do whatever I can to avoid negative, venomous people for the rest of my life; they are not worth my time or energy ;)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Speaking of time and energy (ok this was far-fetched), the aforementioned "dramatic" event occurred beginning November, when I was slightly (!) upset with Jan for suddenly not calling/chatting/emailing once or twice a day as he normally does. It went on for daaaaays. Those of you, who know me well, know that I have an above average fear of loved ones getting hurt and/or dying (yeah, you don't have to be a psychologist to figure that one out). When Jan "disappeared" for 3 days I was getting really scared, having sleepless nights, emailing my mother-in-law and having wild nightmares when I finally did sleep.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Unknown to me, Jan was on his way to Thailand (via a job interview in Abu Dhabi) where he planned to surprise me by showing up at the office - and he'd made his mom promise not to tell me. As my emails got more and more desperate, he finally told me about his plans. He was slightly (!?!?!) annoyed that I ruined his surprise ;)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">In reality, though, I was very surprised - just a bit earlier than he planned, so he didn't see my surprised face. AND he would have gotten a surprise showing up at the office, cause unknown to Jan, I was on Phuket for two days with one of "my owners"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Anyway, we picked him up in the airport and he spent four weeks here, helping with some stuff in the office and just chilling. And we finally did a 5-day live-aboard trip together (on "my" boat of course): we planned it two years ago, but couldn't go because of bad weather. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; ">The trip was great - especially if we disregard the fact that Jan was ill the first two days and I was ill the last three days. Nevertheless we did 4-5 dives together; and when a diver was suspected of having decompression sickness, it was good to have a DCS-experienced person on the boat!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I still haven't gotten rid of the sinus infection, which started during that trip. I'm on the third type of antibiotics, but it keeps coming back. Actually, I felt ok again, but when I went diving this week, I (painfully) realized that my sinuses are far from ok. Ouch. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">And so it happened that I actually spent Christmas alone in bed feeling really ill, sentimental and sorry for myself. I had yellow stuff coming out of all facial orifices and what sounded like a coral-munching parrotfish inside my head. The painkillers and other medication made me soooo sleepy, but since everyone else was on the boat, I had to work. Not my best Christmas ever.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">New Years Eve was much better: still ill, but at least I was on the boat. It was quite a party, guests and crew alike were starting at 18:00 already, peaked at about 21:30, but most people were awake until 00:03-ish ;)) Unfortunately, the crowd was so loud I missed all of Jan's phone calls :((( - he was on Saba to do some work on our house (which is still for sale btw).</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Unfortunately, there was a tragic event lately as well: One of our sweet friends was suddenly widowed in November. Her 28-year-old boyfriend was diagnosed with and died from leukemia within just one week. What a devastating shock to her. And once again a reminder of my promise: to live life in such a way that I wouldn't want to change anything if I'd get the diagnosis tomorrow. Life is right here, right now and there can never be too much love, joy and laughter! </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Carpe diem my friends. Or noctem. Or both ;))</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Karin xxxx</span></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-75068157655984520602009-10-24T14:47:00.002+07:002009-10-24T14:50:47.413+07:00"The less routine the more life" - Amos Bronson Alcott<span style="font-family:verdana;">Ah yes, too much routine really would not seem to become an issue in my life ;) For some bizarre reason, I have been told by several people that they find it difficult to keep track of where I live, who I work for and whether Jan and I are together or not.<br /><br />So, basic information:<br /><br />I live in Khao Lak, Thailand. I've been here before, I liked it and it felt rather like coming home, when I arrived 2 weeks ago after a quick (but not spontaneous) decision that the negative sides of Gangga would outweigh the positive ones, once the thrill of the novelty was wearing off.<br /><br />I work for www.mvoktavia.com - an awesome live-aboard for divers and non-divers alike, and even kiddies are most welcome. It's a unique and great concept, the boat is super-duper and I thoroughly enjoy working together with the owners. There is a lot to be said about working with business-minded people who have an understanding of market powers and marketing. It's the first season we are running the boat directly with our own office etc, so there is a lot of preparation to be done. Oh yes, I mean A LOT ;)<br /><br />Since I'm really the first employee, we knitted a job description for me, which should suit the needs of everyone - and which is still flexible. My title is operations manager and I guess that kinda says it all. The owners will be on the boat 95% of the time; I'll be doing just about everything there is to be done on land (selling, booking, agent contact, administration, marketing etc etc etc). Whenever I feel I'm going mad in the office, I'll go on the boat for a couple of days to recharge.<br /><br />I'm very enthusiastic about this and am getting a lot of insight re setting up a live-aboard business. I have pretty much free hands and - like most other people - I thrive on the respect and confidence in my abilities of intelligent, professional people ;) I guess we all know how many work hours that will mean ;)<br /><br />"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere" - Frank A. Clark.<br /><br />Does that answer your questions about Jan? We're still together and we're working to repair the damage. Professionally, it looks very promising for Jan and we've made a long term plan, which we are now working towards realising. He'll come to Thailand 3-4 weeks before starting his new job - hopefully we'll (ok, I'll) have time to do some fun stuff while he's here. Diving comes to mind ;)<br /><br />So much update this time….at least my bad conscience is lifting now :D<br /><br />Until we meet next time, I send you big hugs<br />Karin xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-90903999781705808772009-08-28T14:33:00.005+07:002009-08-28T14:57:40.668+07:00No Paradise without a burning dump<img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374918853176830930" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIzrgRYrGRZ4JktMb9m7hEf5K3AGaR_nKNZrErq_s_Qr4pu6l8msFVa92fOIEnskmuyE7C-gVtsZrbppgov0VvlHNEHkoqegZ6n9OdtBJRzRzqxBsU_uBSF7wqVFir_u0jdEb5TG5M_6By/s320/beach.jpg" /><br /><div align="center">Apart from resizing, absolutely no Photoshop!!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQHrR1XEySCpOTlQcx_O588BPuMtenB-paHB41Hqpl0nfaNJR4jopexD8Q0zPvyc7Fxs-AV5y-VdPybDmAsFd1lM-JqyDtUIh_FI_GqcfP-6ApCKlrK-Tr9HvysS2kcSX6J9fsNf9E-mZO/s1600-h/amang+on+stairs.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 190px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374918873926678914" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQHrR1XEySCpOTlQcx_O588BPuMtenB-paHB41Hqpl0nfaNJR4jopexD8Q0zPvyc7Fxs-AV5y-VdPybDmAsFd1lM-JqyDtUIh_FI_GqcfP-6ApCKlrK-Tr9HvysS2kcSX6J9fsNf9E-mZO/s320/amang+on+stairs.jpg" /></a> One of my cheaky colleagues, Amang <div align="center"> </div><br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3bzkm_7BWYv5pFlLth00QEYCmad4_zR2OiLJ84xFKl8WVxOWx7_6KCtQtYZJBxbjL7OP0YDAdu42gppc5O7JHPkXOL0TZprrChzbndsCDZV34Fd0PF76FGTCxPtLLKcYP8I7D_1e_3YJ/s1600-h/flag+and+view.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 230px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374918867794930498" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3bzkm_7BWYv5pFlLth00QEYCmad4_zR2OiLJ84xFKl8WVxOWx7_6KCtQtYZJBxbjL7OP0YDAdu42gppc5O7JHPkXOL0TZprrChzbndsCDZV34Fd0PF76FGTCxPtLLKcYP8I7D_1e_3YJ/s320/flag+and+view.jpg" /></a> Welcome to my office ;))<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374918859581178290" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYfqt4LTpz8eNr0zbLsI3yziIRXw4C_WGMS2EcBHK6wNp6ELnL_JbXO2iN22JO91Q8DCvHlQ_EFr3Dkbl2OZJLD6jCSwVnAOhDdef4SjHT2w8g8nNxAcTIM3OvIAGW9Evba_QBx1UOYEfq/s320/on+the+pier.jpg" />Chilling on the jetty.....no guitar for a change, but Ugung is great on waterbottle drums :D<br /><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:verdana;">No paradise without…….so far, Gangga has shown itself from the nicest side: beautiful weather, no mosquitoes and only 3 cockroaches in three weeks. We all know, though, that there must be a dent in it somewhere….<br /><br />During one of my first (sleepless) nights on the island, I decided to grab my water bottle and sit outside on my porch in the moonlight. Only I couldn't see the moon. It looked rather foggy actually. And it smelled like…..well like….ehm……burning rubbish?!?!<br /><br />Even at that time of night with a week of insomnia behind me, I quickly concluded that someone was actually burning waste/rubbish/garbage (depends where you're from) in the middle of the night.<br /><br />And so it is. What do you do on a tiny little island? We obviously try to recycle as much as possible. Bottles, cans etc are smashed and brought to the mainland for recycling. Everything organic is being used for compost. And the rest……is burned at night, when the guests are asleep and will not get their precious holiday disturbed by the smoke and/or smell.<br /><br />We have our own water purifying plant here and of course our own power station, since the solar panels don't generate enough power for the air condition units. We are as environment-friendly as possible - but alas the expectations of today's tourists (I will not call them travellers) are so high that we have to compromise at the cost of nature.<br /><br />When I read some online reviews before going here, the main 3 complaints were:<br />- not enough pressure in the shower<br />- cockroaches on the porch of the bungalow<br />- have to re-programme the AC settings every time the generator is switched (3 times per day)<br /><br />I mean, pppplllleeeeeaaaaassseee…….we're on a tiny little island in Indonesia, surrounded by trees, mangrove etc. What exactly do you expect? The NYC Ritz Carlton???<br /><br />Luckily, not all guests are like that - and some of them actually come here for the spectacular diving.<br /><br />On a different note, you may (or if you're not on Facebook, may not) have noticed that Jan and I are back together again. YES, I know, I know, I know.<br /><br />We've talked (chatted, emails) for hours and hours (think I sleep 3-4 hours per night on average) and we've decided that our relationship deserves a second chance. Soooo many things were wrong in our relationship and the surroundings definitely played a major role in that! We're starting with a clean slate and then we'll take it step by step; Jan is planning to come to Indonesia asap - if not for work, then at least for a visit.<br /><br />My new favourite picture for the situation is that leopards don't change their spots, whereas the ugly duckling did turn into a beautiful swan. I hope and believe that Jan is unfolding the beautiful swan within him.<br /><br />Enough for now, must get back to life in Paradise ;)) Stay tuned for the exciting entry "First Underwater Impressions", which has been delayed, following the sad (but total) breakdown of my regulator….<br /><br />Yours</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family:verdana;">QoW</span></div></div></div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-89966689796396576702009-08-11T18:25:00.003+07:002009-08-11T18:37:23.164+07:00Around the world in 7 days<div><span style="font-family:verdana;">In preparation of the move, the first hurdle was to reduce all my belongings to two suitcases and one carry-on with a total weight of no more than 53 kg. We borrowed a very old scale, which indicated a total weight of somewhere between 40 and 70 kg. Hmmm, close enough.<br /><br />Finally, it was time to leave the rock for good. Yeah, yeah, I said that last time as well. But this time….We worked really hard to get the house hurricane-proof and as much of the cosmetic work on the outside done as possible. That meant no farewell parties etc., but we did go to Eden for an absolutely outstanding last dinner on Saba.<br /><br />We were very sad to leave the house. We put a lot of time, effort, work, blood, sweat and cursing into that place. As ironic as it may sound (since I have just broken up with Jan) we had our happiest time together after we moved into that house.<br /><br />Saturday we cleaned and closed the house up - with lots of time to spare; we had 3 minutes to relax and enjoy the place, before Ernest picked us up to take us to Fort Bay, the harbour on Saba. Our close friends Nina & Norbert came with us (including baby in belly, which I still hope will be born on my birthday), and we all went for a last beer or two (ginger ale for Nina of course) at Pop's Place, appropriately enough.<br /><br />An hour later I found myself on The Edge (ferry), once again leaving Saba for good. Unfortunately, the guys broke the wheel of my suitcase on the way - and silly me had just given Nina all my excess "stuff" including a perfectly fine suitcase….oh well. The usual remedies, cable ties and duct tape couldn't handle it, but epoxy did the trick ;)<br /><br />Jan and I spent 3 lovely days on St. Maarten and I got all the last little bits and pieces that I needed for Indonesia. We had a wonderful room with a bourgonvilla-clad balcony in the Pasanggrahan Hotel in Philipsburg - highly recommendable. The imminent separation made the situation a bit sad, but we enjoyed our last days together.<br /><br />Tuesday morning we went to the airport at stupid o'clock. Of course my bags were overweight, so I had to get rid of some clothes. I was prepared for it, so out went a pre-packed plastic bag with things I'd have liked to have, but don't necessarily need. An hour, 49 hugs & kisses and numerous tears later, Jan boarded his plane to go to Canada. I was devastated as I watched his plane take off, having an overwhelming sensation of emptiness.<br /><br />A couple of hours later it was my turn. A 5-hour flight took me to JFK airport in New York, where I had plenty of time (6 hours) to catch the connecting flight. And of course, since I had so much time, I was through immigration, picked up my bags, went through customs and made it to the other terminal in less than half an hour. Probably a new record.<br /><br />That was great, because it left me with 3 hours in a check-in area with all my luggage and no shops, no food, no water. Finally, they opened the counter and I managed to charm my way to an emergency exit seat on the following flights. Hallelujah. Curiously enough, my luggage had lost weight: instead of 46 kg check-in, I now only had 42 kg. Hmmm.<br /><br />A couple of hours later I boarded, ready for 6 hours to Vancouver, followed by a one-hour stop and then 13 hours to Hong Kong. Uh, I love emergency exit seats :D<br /><br />Hong Kong Airport is actually very nice, but by that time I was too tired to appreciate anything. I just wanted the trip to end and go to bed. Next flight wasn't too bad - 4 hours to Singapore. It was HOT in Singapore. I got my luggage and went straight to the hotel. My new employer had kindly booked me into a hotel in the middle of the shopping district; dangerous I can assure you ;)<br /><br />First of all I called Mr. Milak, who came to the hotel and picked up my passport and an envelope of money. He was to take care of the embassy business and make sure I got the right visa. I do not. I mean I really do NOT like to give away my passport to a complete stranger, especially when I'm in a foreign country. Didn't have much of a choice though.<br /><br />Very unusual for me, I skipped dinner and went to bed early. Friday morning it was time for me to locate a dive shop, more specifically a dive shop which also does repairs on Suunto dive computers. According to the internet, it wouldn't be difficult. Well, it was. See, the Monday after was a bank holiday, so many shops were closed Friday for an extra long weekend. I walked 8-9 km that day and saw a lot of dive shops, a lot of closed dive shops, as it were. Finally, as I was close to giving up, I found one - and even one that could change my battery that same day. Lucky me. Where did I find it? - In the Lucky shopping mall. I should have looked at the names and started there, obviously ;)<br /><br />I was left with a bit of time, which I used wisely: a massage, a haircut and a little bit of shopping. When I checked with the hotel, they had received my passport back and it even had the right stamp. What a good day. After picking up my computer at 8pm, I was ready for - and felt that I deserved - a beer!! And then it was bedtime, since I had to be at the airport Saturday morning at 7.<br /><br />A short 3-hour flight later I arrived in Manado, where I quite unexpectedly had absolutely no problems with immigration AND both my suitcases (which had gained weight to 49.5 kg in the meantime) arrived. One of the sweet girls from the resort, Shanti, picked me up and we had a lovely one-hour drive through the landscape of North Sulawesi. I was particularly intrigued by the gold-mining activities; there is absolutely no high-tech about that! </span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /> </div></span><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368666781981725522" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo3Z7k_UW6MV8oFHkcPwn4GVNNZDTc6nRuXyKuM7WiMONtDapn0pZhwSG0JXtGnkLDLe3vUbPG1q8af-8zJO-qPZmaB7-3bDvagcxcNsJhYDep11mPvIyoHuhafDPgjvDPXrSxr73utFq9/s320/approaching+gangga.jpg" /><br />Our boat was waiting at the pier for the 15-minute boat ride to Gangga Island, where the manager, Hanne, was waiting with a big hug. I felt welcome right away. Everybody had seen my picture and heard about me - and everybody was apparently very happy to welcome me.<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368666771793920786" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM5vjoe7MeJqfrq4bBEt9v4KBYLmrQwC3cZ-QxRqk1jiy_HvTc_vIm3MYPPkl6BmRAVImRduNU6aRwl8HEl9InbftHNPmM1smId5vQMty9rLK7b8hr-Cbg_jbJswQOMaPwdjHmEtXxpK-o/s320/jetty.jpg" /><br />There are 30 rooms in the resort (<a href="http://www.ganggaisland.com/">www.ganggaisland.com</a>) - and 120 employees excluding the day workers. I have met more than half of them and am proud to say that I remember at least 5 names ;) Hanne and I are the only foreigners permanently on Gangga and we're both Danish. Vikings out to conquer the world again?<br /><br />The dive shop has about 20 male employees, who are all very happy to have a girl here now as well. They seem to have a contest, where the winner is the guy who is the sweetest and most helpful to me - whatever I start doing/lifting, there's someone who jumps in, pushes me away and says "I'll do that". </span><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 250px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368666778657111314" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVTAVTvBwLuud_W9Mr6V3SNS9wdAgxsBSBKARjKA7yNL_y2YT4SWLHFIfeFDUj2ri_xUv17ta8Yz38TGyQf3IrmJd_U88d1OWClkIB0We-S1k-QMTh02edPAIqGOBXfDKJ-7Qd2TmmmxuK/s320/new+home.jpg" /><br />I have a beautiful bungalow here, it's very luxurious actually. Nice bathroom with lots of hot water (obviously important to me), a nice little porch, and housekeeping cleans and does my laundry. Not too bad ;)<br /><br />Because I am a foreigner I don't live and eat with the other dive staff. I find that a bit awkward, but that's the way things are here. I get all my meals in the guest restaurant and let me assure you that the food is great and there's plenty of it :D This month there is another foreigner, Didier, here as well; so we generally eat together. When he leaves, I'll be eating alone most of the time, since we're not allowed to sit with the guests. Oh well.<br /><br />My work days start at 7 at the moment. When I start guiding it's one hour earlier, but that'll be a while. The plan is that I do all the instructing for now and then get to know the dive sites. They take that very seriously and don't expect me to be ready to guide for another 5-6 months. In the meantime I'm taking over some of Hannes responsibilities, since she's super-busy as manager of both the dive op and the resort.<br /><br />There are two villages on Gangga Island. They are called No. 1 and No. 2 ;) One is Muslim and one is Christian. In total there are about 3000 people in the villages (so they say); but that sounds like a ridiculous number for such a tiny island. I haven't had time to go there yet, but I am curious of course.<br /><br />There's more to follow, but this'll do it for now. I'm hungry and it's almost dinner time ;))) So stay tuned for "No paradise without a burning dump" and "First underwater impressions"<br /><br />Take care lovely people<br />Karin xxx</span></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-63880076962733602432009-08-10T22:40:00.003+07:002009-08-10T22:44:52.243+07:00Not everything that shines is actually gold....<span style="font-family:verdana;">- that's what my mother used to say. And as is often the case with mothers, she was completely right, even though I didn't always see it that way when she was alive - that, I believe, is just as typical when it comes to mothers/daughters ;)<br /><br />It seems to be just as true that no year goes by without some major changes happening in my life. Some of them are good, some great - and some really bad.<br /><br />Why would 2009 be an exception, I ask?<br /><br />It started out nicely on Saba, but unfortunately things went rapidly downhill. The details are quite dramatic and will take a while for me to process, but I'll live and I'll land on my feet once again.<br /><br />I made the decision to finally accept the offer to come and work in a small resort in Indonesia. We have been emailing for 2 years, but the timing was never right. Do you believe in destiny? I don't know if I do, but on the 19th March 2009 things happened……it was 7 years ago that Martin died, so it was a difficult day to start with. It was also the day that turned my life upside down and I found out that I should have trusted my gut feeling. And it was the day that the Gangga Island Resort & Spa wrote me the most pleading email so far.<br /><br />It took my head a couple of months to convince my heart, but it seemed like the only logical solution. I believe you all know how much I love Jan (enough to let him persuade me to return to Saba last year, even though I'd said I'd never ever never return!!!), so I am sure you can appreciate how difficult the decision to go to Indonesia was.<br /><br />Jan supported me, though, and put a lot of effort into looking for work somewhere in this region, so that he could be closer to me. Unfortunately, our relationship couldn't be fixed; there was too much damage. Reality is the best possible cure for dreams - and this dream was no longer realistic.<br /><br />Saba was a traumatic experience in several ways, but I also met some truly amazing people and made some friends for life.<br /><br />"Always trust your compass"….That's what we teach divers. You may think you know better, but you don't - you should always trust your compass, it's always right. The lesson I learned on Saba was: "Always trust your gut feeling". If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck; guess what: it IS a duck - even if it tries to convince you that it's a swan. I'll make an effort to never ignore or even doubt my instinct again……<br /><br />Stay tuned for the next two updates: "Around the world in 7 days" and "No paradise without a burning dump"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br />Lotsa xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-50565383307004462912009-04-22T20:41:00.002+07:002009-04-22T20:43:23.765+07:00Yeah, I know ;)<span style="font-family:verdana;">Once again I'm being true to myself and not updating the blog for months.......sooooooorryyyyyyyy ;) There hasn't been much to write lately - and on the other hand, we've been really busy getting the new house ready. I've taken pictures, but who knows which box is hiding my USB cable........Stay tuned for some exciting news soon.....</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Lotsa xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-65047650688902798992009-01-04T01:09:00.002+07:002009-01-04T01:21:30.595+07:00Happy New Year Happy People :D<span style="font-family:verdana;">...and may 2009 be your best-est year ever. Ever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Jan and I had a lovely New Years Eve with some of our friends on Saba. And the predicted bad hangover on 1st January ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">For some bizarre reason, Jan decided a while ago that he wants to quit booze & cigarettes in 2009. Fair enough. We all know of my more angelic personality aspects and hence.....I said I'd do the same. I thought supporting him would be - if not the right then at least - the nice thing to do. Duuuuuuh.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Anyway, my strategy was to get really drunk and smoke lots on NYE, so that we'd have a horrible hangover and breathing problems on the 1st. That way we wouldn't have any problems with the transitions. That part of it worked just fine.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">True enough. But then of course a couple of my friends asked me out yesterday and it dawned on me that there is NO way I can deal with the night life on Saba whilst being sober. Doesn't work that way. Meaning I didn't go.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">And of course we all know that a really good meal isn't the same without a glass of wine. And a romantic evening isn't the same either when you say "here's to you Darling" with Gatorade in the champagne flute.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">So here I am: the Queen of Whatever, dedicated to life enjoyment.......minus the romance, good dinners, fun nights out and the joy of feeling a bit more human than angelic. Hhhhmmmmm, once again it would seem I've taken the wrong turn somewhere.....</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The most comforting thought these days is that I'm pretty sure it's not going to last too long ;))</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lotsa xxx t'y'all</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-22025619663547196892008-12-23T23:19:00.000+07:002008-12-23T23:20:49.145+07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIF_OmKhX7DEDYikENtz_vTphBGFjHvFnvXgrJiYRqtuaFHF_V2ZSmA4wh_jj69v_PFXiCs3rJ8BsZ5_G-Rshdo22NFvFIwFPEG8p61e5CdEEDc3yj5_I4zsXAfWpBCtVtUzSazSSy1zKB/s1600-h/christmas+card.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283021172634976018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 260px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIF_OmKhX7DEDYikENtz_vTphBGFjHvFnvXgrJiYRqtuaFHF_V2ZSmA4wh_jj69v_PFXiCs3rJ8BsZ5_G-Rshdo22NFvFIwFPEG8p61e5CdEEDc3yj5_I4zsXAfWpBCtVtUzSazSSy1zKB/s320/christmas+card.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-59725396929347722092008-12-09T00:21:00.002+07:002008-12-09T00:50:54.675+07:00From QoW to Shark Lady to Lizard Lady?!?!<span style="font-family:verdana;">Kært barn har mange navne :D</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It's one of those things........some people say that if dogs and children like you, you are a good person. Been there, done that - got that t-shirt. Some of you have watched the DVD and most of you have heard the story about me being raped by a leopard shark (one of my favourite if somewhat unfullfilling sexual escapades), actually I'm pretty sure you have all heard it at least 4 times ;))</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">BUT what does it mean when lizards love you?? Even Google and Wikipedia cannot answer that one :0</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Saba has an endemic Anole: Anolis Sabanus. Beautiful, cute little creatures who kindly try to decimate the mosquito and bug populations of Saba. I have previously mentioned (at least I think I have) that we have a couple of pet anoles in our home: most astonishing is a sweet young female who likes to follow me around the house and who takes great pleasure in watching Jan taking a shower.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Now, the bravest (that's my interpretation anyway - they're all females) have found the anole version of an all-you-can-eat buffet: they jump onto my foot or leg, waiting for the bugs who get attracted by my various cuts and scrapes (no, not from domestic violence - just domestic work). A perfectly symbiotic relationship and very cute on top of that. Unfortunately, I have not trained them to pose for the camera yet; but I am certainly working on it. In the meantime, they just provide valuable and seemingly endless entertainment to Jan and myself. Fascinating :D</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Phototechnical evidence will follow asap - in the meantime, any and all theories as to the importance and meaning of being loved by lizards are very welcome.....</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Take care</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-60817510906521120162008-11-18T01:01:00.006+07:002008-11-18T21:05:19.008+07:00Sometimes I remember my promises :D<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989441659768978" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 215px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2UELgTVdn-e628LjXZS2CwYKFI1808PeLY_dSEJxh4fKlR2AnvEH-tCIF4s0BgPzN7YlbzGPBPs1NDZVuYnRE2GwTia6StLADjGfbbWzZdnVtuQ1cZhYgwcK2KlCmGSbYxTrw47wbo4a/s320/sunset+view+apt.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Oh, happy people, who would have thought that I remembered to take pictures this weekend? They aren't really good - probably cause I was focusing more on my muscle ache than on the motives ;)) When it comes to pictures I don't have any professional pride though, so here they are.....</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;">This was before my time.....In the background are the islands Statia (St. Eustatius), St. Kitts and Nevis...</span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989446853851314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTKSg-iR6w4pYeOt91W1lZfQBjGY2SMLDv-dC9KZKg0OamjGACp1aVEg-MhlR6mww2aLipxbBqPge9T_fERiusZyp0mj848PvAA8SCC1vdbKew2nfaVuwQLn9djWbwwC_FLWZfe0pbeTG7/s320/jans+house.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">Yes, there's still some work to do....</span></em><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989827777151266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVI4U2jB89D8TL9suqVaOJYo0RTbq5-aKEPQwHAdrK9r_7Hx8Zj1I0fh3DGouPMaqBPheCqfVdzKBncKqzYMnWayB9-sH3pni040Jua1RCWCKdUO7r80C0FVQ5HTDiZvWQ5OlOTH-ocmoA/s320/back.jpg" border="0" /></div><div><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">Action shot...</span></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvlXAePAkuTRsjzQ1YqKlkVqiRKIkfAEbD9cMCQaaILwo1Qug5vvB9dT-NbHd9-JS0gSjDbtGR3nFj8vRNq1xUfN3f_qTu96dlqpzwL8QNdLp8U-MxVCv61zNsnghPFOaZ0Zj3aY0b-Ynw/s1600-h/prep+for+tiles.jpg"></div></a><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989440821162882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 289px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvlXAePAkuTRsjzQ1YqKlkVqiRKIkfAEbD9cMCQaaILwo1Qug5vvB9dT-NbHd9-JS0gSjDbtGR3nFj8vRNq1xUfN3f_qTu96dlqpzwL8QNdLp8U-MxVCv61zNsnghPFOaZ0Zj3aY0b-Ynw/s320/prep+for+tiles.jpg" border="0" /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">Berti laying the first tile...</span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989816727543042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOH9GBqR_qlWpfMnYsMIOijyrJhisvyjSd2CLrgoNYtRqeZdyxEbpDqwJYRXCTyqTDOWn4QIj0vDRTfdr0-x10OyomPtGy2Udw7WZ8MPaG5SlDERkL_BMiw4WOOHSRi5tkL6qjmG-UBRmn/s320/first+tile.jpg" border="0" /><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">The view isn't all that bad...</span></em><br /><div><div><div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVAcZQcYYDld-l8dnJTmzZyUc37bPhN5Eba7hJ7SQcp2udYSVd6JrjGVKaP1Vbmyle0-UkGvC2G4QIGbfv8iuo-lymOLupdZGvrNJSlTjO-PLDuNRuYKf6fr8ElME2EoNhChNcRSi-i5p/s1600-h/ocean+view.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989436578366050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 217px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVAcZQcYYDld-l8dnJTmzZyUc37bPhN5Eba7hJ7SQcp2udYSVd6JrjGVKaP1Vbmyle0-UkGvC2G4QIGbfv8iuo-lymOLupdZGvrNJSlTjO-PLDuNRuYKf6fr8ElME2EoNhChNcRSi-i5p/s320/ocean+view.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">The porch where we'll probably spend most of the time...oh, and Jan's new truck...</span></em><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMKlg0J55qN0d-mjRxv8pLzSGysLpgmuT_O0UX4GyCcFK3iVD9BlZppsZQXkD0Qo8qlaXN9OQnqeqwUasQAzfW4qE0WpJBe4BKNI4ZJnMmEFFhSzTzBLaPX4OXuBTemT8KNU71ZxpUIeU/s1600-h/view+from+parking.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269989422211528402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMKlg0J55qN0d-mjRxv8pLzSGysLpgmuT_O0UX4GyCcFK3iVD9BlZppsZQXkD0Qo8qlaXN9OQnqeqwUasQAzfW4qE0WpJBe4BKNI4ZJnMmEFFhSzTzBLaPX4OXuBTemT8KNU71ZxpUIeU/s320/view+from+parking.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">That's it for now happy people - I'm a bit tired, since we had another patient in the chamber with suspected DCS until midnight yesterday.......zzzzzzzzz..........</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Laters</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Karin xxx</span> </div></div></div></div></div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-47560430566203914722008-11-14T22:15:00.005+07:002008-11-14T23:44:50.878+07:00"There's a dent in the fairytale"<span style="font-family:verdana;">I like that one! A bit like "no Paradise without flies".</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The Saba Soap continues, not much has changed. The longer I stay here, the more difficult it is, not to become cynical: I heard myself saying (and believing) yesterday: there is no fairness, nobody wants to hear the truth and nobody cares - people will hear what they want to hear. Does that sound like me?? I don't want to turn into a bitter, negative person!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Also, the longer I'm here, the more impressed I am with Marianne, who's been living on a tiny island more than 25 years now! And it's not even warm where she lives ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Jan and I obviously chose the hard way by going from not really knowing each other to living together in a very confined space. I had to leave my friends and diving in Thailand behind and of course Saba is a very, very small island - in so many ways. With Jan's history on the island, I will always be "his new woman" and there will always be speculations, as to whether I was the cause of his divorce. With the additional external stress and hostility of the last couple of months, it feels a bit like living through an emotional category 2-3 hurricane (like Omar) - except most hurricanes pass in a couple of hours and this one is permanent.</span><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">At least we can see that it's true that there is nothing like outside pressure to strengthen the ties of a relationship and besides, once we make it through this tough beginning together, the rest of our lives should be a walk in the park :D</span></p><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Good news: project new house is starting to move after hibernating half a year :D If the forces (and Berti, they tile-laying guy) are with us, the floors will be tiled tomorrow. The electrics guy (not sure he's an electrician, but he <em>does</em> drive the bus for Child Focus) will come as well to see if the lights and fans we've picked out are ok. It should take 3-4 weeks to get them here.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We haven't been to St. Maarten yet - I've had to be in the office every day and work full-time the last weeks and for another while yet until my new colleague star. We are planning to go for 3 days in two weeks. We'll order the kitchen cabinets, get a solar-powered hot water system and then we'll of course do some re-fueling of positive energy and romance. It'll be sooooo good to get off the rock.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Looks like things are finally happening! This time I am not going to include a time frame though ;) But at least I've charged the batteries for my camera, so that I can take a couple of pictures of the house for you....Just have to remember bringing it.....And posting them.....</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">My 10 boxes of winter clothes and diplomas should be in Willemstad (Curacao) by now, ready to be shipped to Saba next time a cargo ship comes this way. It's about time as well: it's getting colder here - often below 25 degr. celcius, so my long wool coat and winter boots will come in handy ;))) It's quite exciting though: it'll be like Christmas opening up the boxes after a year with a wardrobe weighing 3 kg and consisting almost entirely of bikinis, shorts and tank tops.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Oh, and before I forget: Now that I know what wrong quotes can lead to, I'll make sure to give credit where credit is due: so thanks to Lars & Jacob for their quotes (above) - even if they may not be their own inventions. Any translation mistakes are entirely mine ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Hi-ho, hi-ho and off to work I go........have a wonderful weekend, I'll be back very soon :D</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Karin xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-74590499553234918622008-10-17T23:08:00.008+07:002008-11-12T19:57:54.163+07:00Hurricane OMAR and what we learned from it<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgjvroSbu1haiVL727oXQ-UE83JoBYCKFLcdNaeAdYSXHZhkel7XaU5NOw9FiWyRHDblUd0XVZWxU6z4KZiMrd1V2PWXYH8Y00B3ar21bmq4rUDITbrInmDWvSrtIIAlDM7iDc_S8Dvx4/s1600-h/omar+waves+in+fort+bay.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258156170626558802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgjvroSbu1haiVL727oXQ-UE83JoBYCKFLcdNaeAdYSXHZhkel7XaU5NOw9FiWyRHDblUd0XVZWxU6z4KZiMrd1V2PWXYH8Y00B3ar21bmq4rUDITbrInmDWvSrtIIAlDM7iDc_S8Dvx4/s320/omar+waves+in+fort+bay.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Ooooooh, happy people :D Omar came and left us bruised and battered but alive and well. There was only minor damage on Saba (unlike St Maarten), except for the harbour area (Fort Bay, as pictured above the morning after), where a couple of diveshops were left with quite a mess. So, this is how my last few days went...</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div>ZCZC MIATCMAT5</div><div>ALLTTAA00 KNHC DDHHMM</div><div>TROPICAL DEPRESSION FIFTEEN FORECAST/ADVISORY NUMBER 1</div><div>NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL AL152008</div><div>1500 UTC MON OCT 13 2008</div><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">That's how it started on Monday when Omar was not Omar, but Tropical Depression Fifteen. After that, we were all glued to the internet (<a href="http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/">http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/</a> is a great website if anyone is interested). Jan decided to pull the marine park patrol boat out of the water and the fishermen were discussing taking their boats to relative safety in St Maarten by Tuesday.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">The situation changed 24 hours later, when Omar was named and the predicted direction was corrected as well. Bad news for Saba! By then it was clear that we'd be hit and a "Storm warning, hurricane watch" was issued for Saba. That means, any boats still on Saba would not be covered by insurance - so all fishermen and diveshops drove their boats to St Maarten or had them pulled on shore here on Saba. It was a lovely calm day btw.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Omar was forecasted to be a hurricane category 1 or 2 and to affect us between noontime Wednesday and Thursday early morning.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">My careful suggestion to Jan Tuesday afternoon to maybe start installing shutters instead of going out for a beer was met with a "nooooo, we'll do that tomorrow after I'm done at the Marine Park". Who am I to argue? My concern was that he'd have to secure the office AND our new house (for which we didn't have shutter yet, so he'd have to get materials first) AND the place we currently live in including the big house of our landlord. But hey, who am I to argue?</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">So, Wednesday morning Jan went to the harbour to secure the office and hyperbaric chamber. I went to work and must admit to getting increasingly nervous, until Jan finally came back to Windwardside at 12:30-ish with loads of plywood, 2x4's and tools. By then it was raining heavily and in addition I had not eaten anything that day - expecting Jan back within "an hour or so", giving us plenty of time for the task at hand.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">As it happened, we were now really in a hurry! No time for food, just enough to grab a jacket and a baseball cap. Both withstood the rain for approx. 8 minutes, guess it could have been worse. Oh wait, it got worse....</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We drove down to the new house first and started carrying the wood up the steep hill. Jan was quite stressed out - understandably so - and thus I resisted the urge to say "I told you so". Matter of fact I didn't say that once during that whole ordeal. When, however, Jan tripped over a rock walking backwards as we were walking with a very heavy piece of plywood (1.50x1.50 m would be my guess), leaving the wood no other place to fall than onto my ancle after a short stop on my knee, I did say (through clenched teeth) "Now, can we pleeeease start a day earlier next time".</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">No time to relax though, we were running out of time. So with a bump on my knee and a gap in my ancle, blood literally running down into my (previously white) running shoes and rain-soaked through three layers of clothing, here I found myself putting up shutters. Since someone had forgotten to put all the tools in Jans truck, we did not have the right equipment and had to improvise a bit. Obviously that did not make the task at hand any faster and/or easier. Another day in Paradise, hey?</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We finished with the house at 15:30.......one down, two more to go, rain getting heavier, wind getting stronger - and darkness just 2.5 hours away. At our current place, there were waterfalls on each side of the house, the amount of rain was unbelievable.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">At least we had pre-made shutters for these two places, so work went faster. This is when I have to mention that despite less than ideal conditions and both of us under a considerable amount of mental and physical stress, we never argued or yelled at each other. Quite a significant indication of a good relationship I'd say ;)</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Anyway, we worked on and by 18:00 there was just one more shutter to put up. Unfortunately, this was by far the most heavy one (35-40 kg) and quite awkward to carry. Jan and I were both in automatic mode I think. We were beyond cold, and probably beyond caring as well. We carried the shutter through the garden, up the stairs, through the house and managed to attach it. Yeah. Done.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">We rewarded ourselves with a hot-hot shower and then went in pursuit of a beer and a meal, unaware that restaurants have to close during a hurricane, so our first attempt only brought us an hour with a couple of beers in nice company. Luckily, hotels stay open, so we had dinner and were home before the worst hit Saba. And before they had to shut down the power plant.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Of course we should have been too scared to sleep that night, but completely exhausted as we were, we slept like babies until 8 Thursday morning. A beautiful, calm day, the sun was shining. Then it was time to assess the damage: several trees were gone and the lawn was basically covered in broken-off branches, the water was running down the wall inside our flat. Apart from that, everything appeared fine.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Jan tried walking down to our new home, but after falling on the slippery path twice and doing his best to let his elbow wound compete with my ancle, he gave up...</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Then the phone call: Fort Bay harbour is a mess! The power had not yet been turned on, so without coffee or breakfast we made our way towards Fort Bay. On the way, we passed big tree trunks and even bigger rocks that had fallen off the mountain sides. And yes, Fort Bay was a mess...</span></div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179742703501954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuY0QYMS5VgGxbOIcJk-ky4JeQKswt91YGQkqNNVOjB9UfX1pKar8JX3BA4t-ojFVtZoOraNzOyPVBzBqoduGpqB8HLoz8l9lz9M3avKJAGKNd9eKUxaWzGBENmCkB4Bh8X2X38wc0C-fW/s320/omar+platform.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">- yes, that's a piece of concrete there</span></div><br /><div><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179288046936178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj9dCStevxk_HepsHGVjU6H1E81rhjpEMQvpR-pJX5i9MPS8v7GkTIfm0u_kH9Bbo_Qgfvdz_opRX1gflNFMzIXctMf4-ksQB8DQcWMbPdoMZTMBrbNgS7hN9OwkPS9wq1oz3EeHN3gF5P/s320/omar+what+used+to+be+the+small+pier.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">- that used to be a pier</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179290665277954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT7kNpP-aIwTc0bCNwSy643IDZZ30JSLis5_WVkM0kIZsXFXPEosRtvnwDA0wB9Y46V26hybt89DuM8-nqSlxZOfbgCH7tUZ64DNhdqyKDXHchHtp6GC6uXPXV8MDt2Zcn0v30JiH2mWi5/s320/omar+saba+divers+outside.jpg" border="0" /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">- I am trying to imagine the force necessary to move those boulder up into the harbour and then across to the diveshop</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179303979529218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiufuTsYbE1AEJ1vrQh-vQfO5T9qNysXye1qgfNRdNmzmj5g0xHHq9YgdryyXHRo6DW9LCW7MLUq55XWHkFTxt_25Hvel_FLXfBsNl6c9X8kvBuI6UVsuH4I4jols8EVkcFaNeSvCZUO9hj/s320/omar+sea+saba+compressor+room.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179308064092226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWNQqpXcloIS3JdB_lJGJg9NLYoYS-QEzWV0BOYtTW__ue1kiGxMZnNl5_O-G3RlyTl0_B2PnUDqe8MQWjEPv0I_kFa-DXf4fM8VpReL2SxVWObukl164CpzjweomUFOaZdUwFf3Hw5uN/s320/omar+harbour+office.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">- the harbour office survived, but the road was burried under boulders and rocks</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258179311723948882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyJUZreb2BytvxYZYR7NI_P4Hg5MBshLTDgay09F2EvPuymZIBq1ClHD4yZv6uZarwqVYoBgEa5qWoNpCYppmOCkpMGlz-O93ikYenmuEwb92bHsH9E7LBLeMPyGy5EY4kqH9ObfG5mOX7/s320/omar+new+dump.jpg" border="0" /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">- this is the road to the dump; guess those things have to end up there now anyway</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Fortunately, the Marine Park office was ok, so after a bit of chatting, we made our way back up to Windwardside, where we decadently decided to go out for breakfast. Yummi. And quite necessary, facing the task of taking some of the shutters down and cleaning up the garden....it took us 3 hours to clear it reasonably. By then, we both felt about 16 years older - all muscles aching after two days of pretty hard workout.</span><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258184878485585202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihYuEQtHf8413cxLNGNOIwhsY-PkyJviEYfLRul9a9U3oyjO9vRfnntAWfTuKcokDPIgvDXDgE74bVJCBG4QkwNSOFCEP3UOHpd9-yhR3NjXvcG9_pkpQ2IBVLWsmNs2O-fDkg61hZoB6W/s320/omar+view+4.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>-<span style="font-family:verdana;"> too bad we don't have any before pictures :(</span></p><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258184868893492162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1W5FLvgT3gGNKd-y75fpTWV8pEfU5YqABJE9a4BDjK-O9CQa38myNZ31wDSgcmbyfoWgodNCdR3TQ05-y3xkJAwOt_iWS9jegvOnUUc7NtjR4IcuyhC_Ipi_wCWhzZQUVP_KzwQmQaFI9/s320/omar+view+1.jpg" border="0" /><br /></p><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258184870300064722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw8QRwZxYSpbaLLvZT7QWDksQNDcYWNDZrNa9jaJ5uMinJwu2VXwvBroj5Z8jHPGOGwDepuS-PNL3Hf1pP5txXrede9O1p_ANerbGdHVReagthRq8Oo7b2uuS4cIX-v6x801QbTr1QEXBW/s320/omar+view+3.jpg" border="0" /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Today, our lives are pretty much back to normal. We're going to have a weekend of doing as little as possible. Must take care of that huge pile of still soaking wet clothes though ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Anyway, that was my week ;) Take care lovely people, I'll now walk home through the rain, taking comfort in the knowledge that it won't be as bad as Wednesday</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">xxx</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-62563744548567327502008-09-17T00:17:00.007+07:002008-10-09T20:20:12.379+07:00No news = good news?<span style="font-family:verdana;">.........possibly............</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Or maybe it's just a sign that nothing is happening; it's been a long time since the last really dramatic development in my life.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">In the meantime I'm a year older (and of course much wiser) and have gotten into a certain routine with job etc. After working on the Caribbean Explorer (see last post) for a week, I am now being invited for fundive + dinner every week, when they pass Saba. GREAT. First of all, fundiving is of course one of my favourite activities. Secondly, the food is excellent. Thirdly - and most important - the crew on the boat is awesome, we have lots of fun together. Oh, and of course it's good to get off the rock once in a while, even if it's just for a couple of hours.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">They would like me to work for them more often, but unfortunately I cannot combine it with my current job. Working fulltime for them is no option because I don't have the 1500 USD for a safety course I'd have to do - and more importantly, because it would mean being on the boat 24/7 for months. Not the best recipe for a happy relationship obviously ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">In an unpleasant way I have also experienced what it can be like to live on a tiny island, where even a non-existing feather can turn into a chicken farm in no time. And there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it. Hrmpf. This has led to a new personal record for me: I am now on my 12th day of migraine - and yes, it's driving me mad and pretty much draining me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A spot of light at the end of the tunnel: Jan and I are planning to go to St. Maarten for a couple of days. He needs to go there for work and then we'll combine it with shopping, getting things for the new house and of course a romantic dinner in a place where nobody interrupts our time together; simply because nobody knows us.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">All in all it's fair to say that my life is less than ideal or super-happy these days; but even if I didn't have the wonderful friends I do, the struggle would still be worth it as long as it enables me to be with Jan. He's intelligent, handsome, sexy, wonderful and I love him to bits!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Rather than posting pictures, there are a couple of links to my Facebook albums here:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51263&l=56fe2&id=703045613"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51263&l=56fe2&id=703045613</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45998&l=80cf7&id=703045613"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45998&l=80cf7&id=703045613</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46294&l=655ca&id=703045613"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46294&l=655ca&id=703045613</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46001&l=1f630&id=703045613"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46001&l=1f630&id=703045613</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45993&l=f5e2d&id=703045613"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45993&l=f5e2d&id=703045613</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">And for all you people, who are still not on Facebook: tsk, tsk, shame on you. It's easy, it's free and it's a great way of staying up-to-date with friends all over the world.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Here's one for those of you, who call me the QoW: did you know that Saba is called "the unspoiled Queen"? How very (in)appropriate I should say - in soooo many ways *lol*</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Well, enough for now. Hopefully I'll have a more optimistic and positive update next time - but still, don't worry..........I'll be fine and everything will be O K ;))</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lotsa love and hugs</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-22567618780084507472008-08-02T01:31:00.002+07:002008-08-02T01:45:22.646+07:00Life on the RockImportant news first: since my last blog update I did not and do not plan to move to a different part of the world ;) I'm still on Saba and still very much in love :D<br /><br />My dream of going to Denmark on holiday did not come true, but at least I have a job now: assistant project leader for <a href="http://www.childfocussaba.org/">www.childfocussaba.org</a> - it's obviously an office job, and it's only part time. My contract starts 18th August, in July I've been volunteering for the summer programme of the foundation.<br /><br />Next week I'll be doing my "old job": the only live-aboard operating this area has problems with staff on sick leave, so I'm doing a week of divemaster work on it. It'll be tough to be without Jan for a whole week - especially on his birthday - but I really look forward to being back in the water. I have volunteered for the marine park a couple of times, but it's more difficult now that I actually have a job.<br /><br />Saba is in the middle of the week-long annual carnival, but we have not participated - we'll go to the parade tomorrow though.<br /><br />Jan's house building project has moved veeeery slowly the past two months. I've been painting the walls, and the tiles will be put in soon. We need to be out of our current appartment by mid-September, but realistically the new house will not be ready before October.<br /><br />Oh, and do remind me to post some pictures....<br /><br />Lotsa xxx<br />KarinKarin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-82947638913639468692008-06-14T00:01:00.003+07:002008-06-14T00:51:48.197+07:00Back on the Rock - never say never.....<span style="font-family:verdana;">It was a looong journey, but I made it without permanent damage - and even got my suitcase with just one day delay.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Jan was sweet and picked me up on St Maarten, so that we could take the boat (the "vomit comet") back to Saba together. How strange that was; I really believed that I'd never come back to this place. Never say never, hey?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I've been here a week now and the jetlag has finally left me alone, 11 hours time difference will take its toll on even the most experienced traveller, I guess.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So, what have I done the past week? - Well, first of all there's been a bit (yeah sure, just a tiny bit) of partying going on; people here have been amazing in making me feel welcome. I'm trying to find work - which will probably not be within diving. Apart from the financial worries, I guess I'm not very good at being without a job ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I've also started as a volunteer for the Marine Park, which allowed me to try out my brand-new custom-made 7 mm wetsuit yesterday. Cozy and warm, I'm loving it :D It was a different experience to dive for a real reason (moving mooring blocks), but it didn't stop me from noticing several Southern Stingrays and a group of 3 squids out of the corner of my eye - whilst still completely focused on and dedicated to the task at hand naturally ;))</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It was difficult to leave Asia and the friends I have there; I miss them, but thanks to the internet we can at least still stay in touch. As summer approaches I also miss my family more and more. I am still hoping for a miracle, so that I'll be able to go to Denmark in July - but tickets are just too expensive at the moment. It feels wrong not to be in my sisters "hacienda" in the summer. And it feels wrong to miss out on my "little" niece's wedding and my brother's 50th birthday. Guess that's the downside of having chosen to live in the warm countries.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Apart from missing family, friends and the work I like, I am ridiculously happy :D I am sure coming back to Saba was the right decision.........I feel very very lucky and thoroughly enjoy spending time with Jan. He's - almost - too good to be real ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hopefully my next post will follow quickly, and hopefully it will tell you that I have a job - and stumbled over a ticket to Denmark walking down the hill ;)))</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Take care lovely people</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-13527702038376941352008-05-17T14:10:00.007+07:002008-12-09T15:32:53.580+07:00Holiday - and what happens next<span style="font-family:verdana;">Holiday is such a great invention. Should do it more often. As usual, nothing went as planned; but this time it was not because I changed my mind: the weather (of all things) played a major part. And chemistry. That one is a bit tougher to explain though.<br /></span><div><div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">At Songkran - Google it; it's the time of year when people look like this:</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201245476012718658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitbP22_1OmEkGEPcQPlhVoRMgxn97uy3NM6K7GQRR38r8j88lh-HiUbDsmb8YcY8qUd9QbpoagRFdxtHFz_XqUdlXKDxq7UJy6pR7xOaUELXHWkEIZIwLIrCWVkPRreCRazMFBnozRMa2_/s320/songkran+island+8.jpg" border="0" /><br />- "my" boat went out for the last dive trip this season. And since Khao Lak was practically empty anyway, I left the office to a colleague and spent a day doing what I love doing: tourleading the boat and guiding experienced fundivers.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201246816042515026" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNSNFUMGqh-fGOD-tx9Ou0Oi_YeShdVuG97tEWMAWkoaO6wxdMmB4twJekpWm5FbcuQBRyhbZgsK74o_r1RnKhbKZelkIputtiwVPyhHoQ0zu4sKoknmVFidphneYXKp6kE4XA68L3n8ck/s320/moby+dick.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /></span><div></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201246820337482338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGkkf7GwIp87WImqb8trKVKcCMzgmUMfaS-PjoKsaBWVG407SViCzcBidlbe-j0oRqe-uOKfZuMnbk8hV41QWDR6FmW6Gdc8Nok8MV5Zv0B3FLTVI4qE5RdF-EaYAgwndRcPBYwrcCLbOg/s320/sail+rock.jpg" border="0" /><br />Nothing like a day in the other office.....it charged my batteries just enough to get me through the end of season. By then I had worked 135 days in a row.<br /><br /></span><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">After closing the shop, weather was so bad in the Andaman Sea that a live-aboard was no longer an option - especially since a friend from Saba, Jan, and I wanted to go to Burma/Myanmar. Good thing we didn't. Instead we had a look at Koh Lanta, which was actually a lovely place.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201243023586392626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXJpPd5q2lIVby7kNoy05YBGSyt5WSX9-CbV7YCWWZdgpB2nAim-cXEyQJUAXL2rSZa-inlBTq0zRE7FnalWI2PuUMFu4gjzpVxDQf1wFuKseh3aRYsCGUuSaEzADlju6WILANKOKpO1Y/s320/lanta+view.jpg" border="0" /><br />We dived Koh Bida Nok & Nai at Phi Phi one day, but conditions were not good and the day after, weather turned really bad, so diving was no longer possible.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">After some wonderfully relaxing days we continued to Koh Tao to meet up with Debbie and Beto. Now, if you want to do a dive holiday in Thailand, please don't go to Koh Tao. It was wonderful to see the Debs and Beto again - and several of my friends from Khao Lak - all good. But to me, that would be the only reason to go to Koh Tao.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">We had a great time though. They manage a great dive shop with a really good boat, so that we had some lovely days. And some nice apres-diving as well (goes without saying)</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201249934188771954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHilmhkoxlyCvtEPOuUcKYobY-dMYv2twTTTe8hK5u7cnV7Y8JMEaHCkkgV6Z-PaB5EJEONBxR-BoKGeNt58vvUyvIfSs69W9piaowBD1y5wZsVwqcy6MFt29hDTW6NMFEkxvYK233jctP/s320/debs+beto+jan+koh+tao.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /></span><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201249934188771970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh17_lc6mDnPuT0v30TAJAXH06pRKN2W-1hbHgCYGiNgCNtPpBCXAW6bCjKHiuOK9W3SwiF_KCTY7Ch6-HrVUZ5RhlEXldXifJ5RDBTxiuMcaERqTYnigJi8Z1S3Mmyr7PaLIBAm7J0W5bV/s320/koh+tao+sunset.jpg" border="0" /><br />Now comes the chemistry part........thing is: Jan and I got along ok on Saba, but weren't exactly best friends. After I came to Thailand we stayed in touch with at first sporadic and then frequent emails and MSN conversations (don't you just love the internet?). And then in Thailand, spending time together, we realised that we actually like each other. Quite a bit.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">So the shocking news for all of you: I am moving back to Saba. An intercontinental relationship is not an option; especially in the first stage. Jan is under contract on Saba - and I'd have to get a new job anyway. So why not try to go for it? We have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to win.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">I know, I know........I didn't like Saba and I love Asia, BUT one has to give love a chance, doesn't one? - Well, I do.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Guess this is enough information for you to digest for now! Thanks for all the nice feedback, I am glad you are reading the blog - and I'll be back with an update shortly</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Take care</span></div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">xxx<br /></span></div><div></div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-91999866295325642022008-03-31T23:20:00.002+07:002008-03-31T23:45:59.440+07:00Green Season<span style="font-family:verdana;">I never thought the day would come when I'd switch on the air-condition voluntarily. Trust me: it gets warm down here. Really warm. Scandinavia had snow at Easter - well, here green season (much nicer and more tourist-friendly term for rainy season) seems to have started two months early this year.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Temperatures are around 36 (yes, celsius) and I believe the device still remains to be invented that can actually measure this level of humidity. All good.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Apart from the thunderstorm last night, which was the loudest and longest-lasting I have ever experienced. Following the storm, the surge was so bad today that our diveboat (and all other speedboats) had to turn around after 10 minutes and go back to the harbour. The guests were not exstatic - but would have been less so, if they'd been stuck on a 26 ft speedboat for three hours in 2 meter waves. Trust me on that one too.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Easter was peak season here and again business went far better than expected for us. Which meant another three weeks without a day off. Supposedly it's really quiet this week, but we still have full boats both for diving and snorkeling. Maybe next week.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The plan is to close the operation here end of next week. My first action will be going to Phuket for two days of shopping with one of my friends. Khao Lak has absolutely nothing in terms of shopping - unless you're looking for a tailor or an optician. After that, I'll be going on a liveaboard or two for some diving. NOT working, just diving. I can go practically for free, so it's not as decadent as it sounds.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Then I'll be packing all the equipment and office stuff here and get it to our office on Phuket.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Beginning May I'm likely to go to Koh Tao to visit Debbie and Beto. One of our friends from Saba comes to Thailand on holiday, so it would be nice to catch up and do some diving together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">After Koh Tao it's decision time........what am I going to do this green season, what am I going to do next high season (why is it not called brown season?). I have several options....Right now I'm extremely tired of working these ridiculous hours in the office. Sick & tired & frustrated actually. Which is why I am not making any important decisions right now - not the right state of mind. Right now I'd go for any job that involves diving.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Even life in Paradise is not always perfect ;)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The friend and Goddess who named me "qow" asked me whether people in general know, what the origin of that is. I'm sure some of you do. For all the rest of you, I'll give the explanation in my next blog update (now THAT's a cliffhanger).....</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Take care lovely people</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">xxx from the QoW</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-67690693717691687582008-03-10T15:27:00.002+07:002008-03-10T16:09:38.901+07:00Life in Khao Lak<span style="font-family:verdana;">So, what's it like to be an office worker in Thailand? Pretty much the same as in Europe, just a lot warmer. And possibly a bit more challenging logistically. One must never forget that time is even more relative in Thailand - tomorrow in Thai time is probably/possibly sometime this week. Or next. But not more than two weeks; generally.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Apart from that, the issues are the same: trying to get customers to sign and then making and keeping them happy, trying to motivate colleagues, trying not to throw the desktop out of the window, when it's painfully slow, trying to cope with the fact that the day only has 24 hours. And in between all of that it's a matter of being flexible and improvising as we go along.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Today, I've finally managed to take a day off. Well, obviously not an entire day - but 3-4 hours of time for myself. Went to the gym and then decided that it's about time I update you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">My life these days consists mainly of work, no fun. I do go out from time to time, but it's a bit tricky, cause I'm the office every day from 9:00-21:00 (just decided that we're closing at 21 "already"). That doesn't leave much time for social activities - especially since restaurants here close at 22. But yeah, we do manage to create a bit of a want-to-be-vortex feeling on a weekly basis ;))</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">In the meantime, Beto (former colleague from Saba and Debs' boyfriend) has arrived in Khaolak - and has had work pretty much every day since. Sarah has left for Malaysia, where she's working for the company I was supposed to work for. She does not sound overwhelmingly happy, but suggests that I go there as well in low season.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">That's not the plan though: I'm supposed to work for Scandinavian Divers in Patong (Phuket). My job description there seems to have changed a bit though - from being on the boats every day (which I really want) to being part-time office as well. We'll see about that...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Last Monday I actually went diving! First time in about 5 weeks. And it was almost perfect: gentle current, fantastic visibility, ok divers. The "almost" bit refers to the only underwater creature I actually hate: Titan Triggerfish! Nondivers among you will not appreciate how horrible they are. First of all, nesting season has obviously started and secondly I obviously must have come a bit too close to a nest..........so this huge, mean-looking trigger decided to attack me, coming up from behind and biting my upper arm! Interestingly enough, the (quite painful) bite didn't go through my wetsuit (another reason not to wear shorties), but I now have a very impressive purple-yellow-black bruise. The bastard continued his attempts to kill me - but was unsuccessful as you may have guessed. My fins show the scars including a 3 cm long hole, where he managed to bite all the way through. Damn, I hate Titan Trigger!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Enough for now, I'll go back to enjoying my day off (still have an hour until I have to work)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lotsa xxx</span>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8133783886250913132.post-19226334518711945532008-02-27T17:11:00.004+07:002008-12-09T15:32:54.591+07:00So you want to see my office?<div><span style="font-family:verdana;">No problem, this is my office most days:</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ebe54SXz8COXFYZl7G5fxxm_YOCh6-k_Q7Mge7L5JlzpafUCRbtW3DufHcky0mb0xrstaiDZie6KKd3eXP8z1nR8c8qtsw1V_BitP712RgQY_hG82h7MIKyfsw_Cu9pWgYbYw9Fdj4Fq/s1600-h/kl+shop+front.jpg"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171601692955863922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="242" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ebe54SXz8COXFYZl7G5fxxm_YOCh6-k_Q7Mge7L5JlzpafUCRbtW3DufHcky0mb0xrstaiDZie6KKd3eXP8z1nR8c8qtsw1V_BitP712RgQY_hG82h7MIKyfsw_Cu9pWgYbYw9Fdj4Fq/s320/kl+shop+front.jpg" width="282" border="0" /></span></a></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">And this is me - with a bad hangover - in the office:</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171604931361205122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJCUuiZ7RkzTDtDv_RDAu-5Trw2FlWoLPjbhXPPymBBuOZq2KJsrL94aOqYlA15fm5iggM4dNddTyvvSNhO7k8A2uprT5Ab9z7dX1IuXET3lud2l5cb5CgnNbZv4yHinX_7UyfyTMD4PSo/s320/working+karin.jpg" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171609763199413202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDPIMzegWLQnS0aUJnxjOXO1JkXkauaCuCpF4qTJMXR_bq9KC7KxUGsz1WskEJJLwR7fJ-gkhMuS3vK1wxHokleoCG6dW6_JMtSPKDGAFp9AOHQ-FCsiJRazNMZB-4H6T07YI_nRZBf798/s320/kl+karin+and+markus+2.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Sometimes - but rarely these days - I get to see this view from my other office:</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171604944246107058" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1omSUgBVGeWKJ2O1lw1Wqd0CBhiPxzC9SbWux7XJcfPBg_72ZNI4qjR3tTSLMVjnRulUjRlREJxSaZwrjUcjR0RP77MSGr5V2gFmCnGGBDCdFpC6zDAjLs6m6dQvesJXdcdgtm2BoP6oX/s320/colona.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171604939951139746" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVCH1qbpa5YhVhXZIlLrLveWABhxyjNmcAdJW1fcr_HQjf-c9aCU64tVmMSNqaAt3V03o-Arn4yDSfNKzy3FdjG0W0vibOEW_84Ka3swC4y04pELI2a89mxpgav-L7jbgD4_P4ZjNr6MTZ/s320/sunset+from+nam+sai.jpg" border="0" /></span></div><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">And of course there is a beach in Khao Lak too:</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171604952836041666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirlMj7IR8O5w5_L1NJH86tDp1bekq9gCHPAnAcJgD261CjYgZcViq56hn7sQA99HRjgbR5EQzCzpW2Fqt6jVo73li_jukKIi7c2CK_oWRWGKEbgRIUkqWOrMlzrM3yKipl0EXHLS0Dh4fp/s320/nang+thong+beach.jpg" border="0" /></span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">Business is going better than expected - or even hoped, but it's taking blood, sweat, tears and a lot of time. Luckily some of my staff members are really great - Debbie is one of them, she didn't go to Malaysia after all :D</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">I wasn't too impressed with Khao Lak when I first got here, but I am actually starting to like this place a lot - it is not at all like Phuket.</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">We're closing down end April and I am planning to take the entire month of May off - travel a bit around Thailand.</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hopefully I'll find the time to write a bit more soon-ish - but at least you got some of the requested pictures</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">Lotsa xx</p></span><br /><p><br /></p><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>Karin Lund Nielsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01762925895728772368noreply@blogger.com1